first big fight || chapter fourteen

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HER PERSPECTIVE: it's been hard here. hard staying with white. we've been having small arguments and even times where we went hours of not talking. I'll admit it bothers me, bothers me a lot. sometimes over the littlest things, the could easily be fixed by a little communication, but grudge and anger were the best friends ever; and pride as well. if we aren't yelling at each other about me and my dad it'll be about something so small like my clothes or him failing to pick up after himself. then I start to feel guilty, guilty that I'm causing my number one chance of living problems. thinking if only I would've moved out of his seat we wouldn't have to go through this; he wouldn't have to deal with me. I'll even have days where I would grab my things and save him from all my bullshit, but he would just grab them and throw them elsewhere in the room and yell more about how crazy I am for even thinking about leaving; but what else can I do? huh stay where I'm not wanted, stay where I'm not needed. where my existence doesn't matter. he'd be better off without me. everyone would.

HIS PERSPECTIVE: months go by and all I and Kinsley do is have petty little fights over nothing. then those nothings become something and then next we sleep in the same bed but look the opposite way. there were even times when she tried to leave and grab her stuff and my heart was terrified with what could possibly happen, my anger would scream let her, and my head was in the middle of everything. confused with what to do. so I'd grab her things and toss them on the other side of the room to avoid looking at them and avoid having the thought of her leaving the house to where her dad could find her. then yell and ask her how stupid could she be, but then again I give her reasons to want to go. she doesn't... no no she shouldn't stay with someone one like me. someone who cant pick there shit up after themselves and yells about every little thing. she doesn't need to be around my bullshit. maybe I should've given her a car and money and let her go instead of keeping her. shed be better off without me. everyone would.


I wait with my towels and clothes while sitting on the bed as she got done in the bathroom. we had another disagreement again and went a couple of hours without talking. no hugs no laughs or anything. the house had more enough bathrooms for me to go and hoop in, but I wanted to see her, to smell her and that buttercream vanilla scented lotion as creepy as it might seem. I should say something and throw my anger out the window, my care for her is to bigger than that. even if she doesn't notice and even if I don't tell her, it is. the door opens and steams comes out along with bebita with a small towel wrapped around her head. we look at each other for a split second before looking away. she walks away from the door as I walk towards it. again I stopped and turn around to look as if I wouldn't see her tonight anyways.

OUR PERSPECTIVE: I'm sorry.

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