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Chapter Ten - I reckon he was only looking for a lover to burn

5.5K 279 137

Wrote: 6th September 2014

Edited: 25th July 2015

I'm kissing Niall Horan.

Niall Horan is kissing me.

Oh my fucking god.

What is air?

His lips are soft and delicately kissing me. I am obviously kissing him back, who wouldn't, he can kiss me if he wants.

I dont care, all I can think about is the fact that Niall Horan is hovering above me and kissing me, holding himself up with those big muscly arms. I just wanna grab them. Just once.

Since he initiated this kiss I'm gonna let him chose when it's over. Even though I'd like to kiss him forever and ever.

Which is too soon for my liking but he stares down at me and I thought he was gonna smile but instead I got a shocked face. Hurtful.

"I'm sorry," he quickly climbs off me and awkwardly sits at the other end of the sofa, shifting himself as if he doesn't know how to rest.

"It's nothing to be sorry about... Niall.. Niall," he ignores me and shakes his head. Does he regret kissing me? What if he does. I can't handle that. He seemed so happy before. Just enjoying our fun together but then... that. I enjoyed kissing him so much. I wish he'd do it again.

"Niall.. please talk to me," I sit up and shuffle closer to him, if he ignores me, I'm gonna cry. I really don't wanna be rejected hardcore but if he doesn't want this. I will leave and get over him. I'll try, but I'll probably fail.

"I... I'm sorry I did that," he doesn't make eye contact with me and my heart is being crushed, more and more with every breath he takes and it a probably a breath of regret, I dont want him to regret it, but to keep kissing me.

"If.. if you don't mind me asking," he turns to look me in the eyes and I can a broken image behind his blue eyes, "Why did you kiss me?" I ask softly, he thinks for a minute and his eyebrows furrow but he shrugs, I really hope it isn't like a 'it was just a thing of the moment' or 'I don't know, let's forget it happened' answer, cos I won't be able to live with that shit.

"I guess, I just wanted to," he doesn't know, another bit of my heart is crushed, well at least it wasn't shitty reply of 'let's forget it happened'.


"I.. umm.. I didn't mind," I smile at him and he faces me again with a grin on his face.

"Really?" he looks away and down at the floor with a smile on his face, does he like me or something? cos that'd be great!

"Yeah.. it was also.. my first kiss," I play with my fingers nervously as I tell him that.

"Wow, well I'm honoured," he says quietly and shuffles closer finally, but not touching me just closer, I don't want this week to he awkward for any of us. I want it back to how it was, or more.

"You still gonna do my hair?" I try to change the subject to a less awkward one. But I win at life because my first kiss was with Niall Horan and yours wasn't. Ha.

He turns his body to face me and his hand touches my cheek sending shock waves throughout my body, he slowly leans forward and it's happening again, his lips touch mine and the butterflies make a nice home in my stomach as his lips move slowly over mine, I don't have time to think, I should just kiss him and treasure this moment.

He's actually really good at kissing. He doesn't go too quick or too slow, but keeps a nice pace and his hand caresses my nervous cheek.

He gently pulls away with his eyes still closed and then rests his forehead against mine. I feel my breath increase in speed and this time he smiles widely and kisses my nose.

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