2 / Ordinary is Nice

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"You and those steps," she laughed. "You know I think you're hot as you are."

"You've got to say that. You're married to me."

"I don't have to mean it though," she laughed.

"So, you're saying you're only telling me what I want to hear?"

"That's for you to figure out."

"And you to know."



It wasn't the first time we'd had this exchange. I kept wanting to tone up a little. Drop an inch or two from my waist. Tighten my backside. I'd like to stop automatically reaching for the most chocolatey thing in the biscuit barrel. I knew she loved me and fancied me. Our regular kisses and snuggles and energetic lovemaking showed me that. But I was doing it for me, not her, and once I'd found what I was looking for, the feelings of being separate from everything I held dear would be gone and I'd be back to being her ever loving wife.

I was about to tell her I was going to grab a shower when her phone rang. I should have known it would. There was bound to be a call really. Because I lived with it, I suppose it was too commonplace for me to think of.

"Kent," she answered, her voice short, showing clearly that she hadn't wanted to be disturbed.

She nodded a couple of times, something she always did when on the phone but something I found odd when the other person couldn't see her. Did she think it was like when you smiled and the person you were speaking to could hear it in your voice? Did the bobbing of a head translate in the same way? I didn't think so but... bobbing of a head... How easy, in reality, was it to decapitate someone?

One of my favourite films was the 80s Queen accompanied Highlander. I didn't have a samurai sword to swing, but there were enough other options, I felt sure. Could it be a kind of magic, bringing me the sensations desired? Craved, even?


"OK, I'm on my way."

My heart should have sunk to be churned around in my stomach before being ejected again head first down the toilet. I could be discovered! By my wife! And I hadn't yet had chance to try again! Damn my stupidity and short sightedness. I should have known that being married to a forensic pathologist would have brought my deeds swiftly back onto my doorstep. That should have been my reaction.

"Job on?" I asked, surprisingly calm.

"Car accident on the A180. A driver on his mobile phone. He looks to only be 21 or so."

"Boy racer?"

"You'd think, but he was driving an Asda van. He'd been on his way to a delivery."

I couldn't pass judgement on the young man tempting Death by driving and texting. I was guilty of it myself, but I knew I was invulnerable to the dangers. It couldn't happen to me. It only happened to others. I was sure everyone felt the same way, too. They'd be fine.

Until they weren't.

"Will you be long?"

"I wouldn't think so. But you know how it goes. I'll see you when I see you."

I nodded, kissed her and let her go. Once she was gone, I slumped against the kitchen worktop. It wasn't the girl. It was something totally different. The cloud above me had cleared rather than striking me down with a lightning bolt wielded by my wife.

A lucky escape. I should stop there. It was too risky, especially with Amanda very likely being involved in the case once she was found. I would stop. I'd tried and it hadn't worked. Oh well. There didn't need to be a repeat. Not really. I'd cope. I could live without knowing. I had a nice life. There was nothing wrong with just accepting and staying happy, even if that happiness wasn't entirely complete.

I made myself a coffee, losing myself in the gurgling of the Tassimo. It was talking nonsense when I expected it to be berating me.

Then I went to bed. And slept.

 And slept

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