Just Breathe- 27

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Tyler's POV

I keep hearing the machine attached to her go off. They keep saying "clear" as they try to bring her back. It took all I had to get out of the room and let them do their job. "Please don't leave me..." I say to myself as the rest of her family is waiting for the doctors to tell us something.

Time skip

They got her to breathe again but within minutes they took her into surgery. They told her parents her brain was filling up with liquid and it could be lethal if they don't do anything about it. We sit there and wait. So much waiting... I just want my baby back.. I was sitting there with my hands over my face. "hey.. I wanted to check up on you." I look up to the person speaking and see Chloe and Blake standing in front of me. " Other than my fiance being in surgery right now? great.." Chloe just gave me a look. It's like she could see right through my lies. " What's going on?" " Nothing Chloe... I just.. I need her to be okay.. I need some air." and with that I walked away and headed towards the exit.

I stayed outside for what seemed like hours but in reality just minutes. I walk back in to see everyone crying. I felt my face drain of color and my heart started beating faster. I continued to walk over there, not even daring to shed a tear until I get told what's going on. I look at Felicity's mother. She can tell what I'm asking by the way my face is. She gets up and hugs me and slightly whispers "she's gone.." in my ear. I just froze.. I felt the tears go down my face, I backed away and ran to where I knew the surgery was going on. I kept running, "Sir you can't be in here!" I heard a lady yell. I didn't care, I just wanted to look through the window and see my baby.

I got to the window, completely out of breath I look inside. I see a body with a white sheet and a little bit of blood covering. I look closer to the body, I see one of the hands sticking out of the sheet. God... Please no.. I see the ring I got her for our engagement. I fell to my knees and I broke.

Time skip- 2 months later

(a small self harm warning)

"1, 2, 3, 4... Maybe a little more.." I say as I slit my wrist one more time. I can't do this.. I can't handle being alone without her. I need her. I love her.. I start cutting more and more letting my thoughts get the best of me once again. Elbow to wrist. This is how I cope.. but sometimes it just doesn't work. I get up and throw on my jacket, not caring if the blood goes through. I walk out the door for the first time since her funeral.

People past me, looking at me like I'm complete trash, but I wouldn't blame them. I haven't slept, I look like I've been hit by a bus. I keep walking and I see a park that me and her use to go to. "That's a good place to do it.." I take a right and walk into the park. By the way I look, mothers look at me and get closer to their children. I really look like a bum huh? I think to myself as I see another lady go to her child.

Others looked really concerned for my health, but they don't know me so they don't do anything but stare. I keep walking till I reached a cliff at the end of the park. It's a beautiful view, the ocean and the sun beaming over it so perfectly. I breathed in the salty fresh air and I even feel a small smile creep on my lips as I remember me and Felicity sitting her all night once. It was amazing, the moon was so bright and beautiful. The stars shined bright as ever, but her... she shined bigger and brighter than all of them. Her green eyes twinkled with love and beauty that night.

I sighed and smiled, but soon a tear ran down my face just to remind me what I had lost a couple of months ago. (A couple is 2 so yes I know it was 2 months ago) I hear someone walk closer to where I was and I thought It was now or never. "Hey... hey man. Look at me, open your eyes for a second. " I hear the man speak but I keep my eyes closed. I hear the steps get closer and I open my eyes, tears running down my face. " Just breathe man, you ain't gotta do this. You don't deserve to die." I shook my head at his ignorance. " You don't know what I deserve. You don't know what I did." I turned around and looked at the ocean. I could feel him panic when I stepped closer to the edge.

"Okay.. you're right. I don't know.. Why don't you turn around and tell me." I debated and decided why not let someone know how I screwed up a whole families life. " I hurt her... God, I loved her so much and I fucking hurt her. She got in an accident and then died, after I hurt her. How am I suppose to live with myself? Knowing i'm the reason she was texting and upset while driving.. How am I suppose to live with myself knowing my fiances death was my fault." Upset and crying I turn back around.

The man stays quiet. Guess he thinks I deserve this too... Good.. I do.. I stepped out and I was about to jump. "WAIT!" I hear the man yell and oddly enough.. I did. "That girl loved you. No matter if you hurt her or not, she knows you love her. It wasn't your fault she died. Her family doesn't blame you and you shouldn't blame yourself. " I hear the fear in his voice but it's to late. I'm a dead beat. I went A-wall in the military, I'd end up in jail if I go back anyway.

I leaned forward and felt myself leave the ground. I hear the man scream, and I felt something snatch my foot.

What the hell?

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Hey guys, so this book is coming to an end soon. 3 more updates and boom complete! I hope yall like it so far and sorry if this makes you sad. *kisses*

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