Writings of a Not So Typical Teenage Girl (onebluerose)

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Reviewer: onebluerose

Author: sarcasticcowgirl 


Cover: 6/10 

The cover is simple. The very long title occupies the entirety of the cover without an author's name on it. It does not really look interesting at first glance. My suggestion would be to work on a new cover. Maybe make a request to a cover shop. Make the cover playful and lively if you're going for a fun, light hearted story. Or maybe use dark colors or strong contrast if the mood of the story leans more to a heavier tone.

Description / Summary: 8/10 

I am not really fond of very long sentences which can be broken down into short ones. For example, "Hi there, my name's Lanier and this is my journal." You could instead write it like this, "Hi there! My name's Lanier and this is my journal." The exclamation point gives it some kind of strong feeling, maybe enthusiasm, to it. Also in your summary you forgot to put a period at the end of the first line. The second paragraph of the summary is good. You can actually use it as the summary itself removing the first line if you would want to. I commend placing a warning on the summary. The reader will be aware of what's inside of the book instead of getting upset later on because they get surprised such triggering topics are included in the story. Just please be aware of proper punctuations.

Chapter Review: 7/10 

I have read the story up to the latest chapter but will only go into detail on the first three. What I noticed is that your chapters are very short. Leave it like that or make it longer, I don't really have a comment. The only thing I'd suggest is make the content juicy and interesting, stir curiosity.

Chapter 1: I like how it was written like the main character was talking to a person in front of her. I can imagine the use of that point of view in a diary/journal. Also, the last part of this chapter where the character tells how she liked writing and this was a way for her to tell her story this time, is a good one. It sets the tone for an invitation to go ahead and read what this journal has to offer. Like, accompany me in my journey kind of vibe.

Chapter 2: The pacing of the story is fast and that's understable, considering the format you've chosen for this book. Journals also tend to contain highlights rather than meticulously writing down the details of everything that's occurred for the day. Just an opinion, I don't quite feel the tension from this chapter which it should have as this chapter contains the entries from when the character's life started to change.

Chapter 3: I noticed how you dropped the dates in this part. This is an informative chapter but details and description about what the main character was feeling was lacking.

Main Characters: 6/10 

I can't really say anything exact as the way the story was written almost sounded robotic, like a person going through the motions without really feeling anything. The tone is a really important aspect for this book. But I do pick up how cruel the people around her were. They shrug her situation off and accuse her of faking it.

Activity of the Writer: 9/10 

The author sometimes replies to feedback/comments on the story as well as to those on her conversation feed.

Plot: 8/10 

The story has potential and it could go forward in many ways. I like how the first problem of stuttering connected smoothly to the revelation of Lanier in the later chapters.

Overall Advice:

Create a new cover so the book captures attention and interest at first glance. Work a bit on the error in the summary. Take note of tension building and tone. This book has a big potential and I could tell it could go into more interesting paths in the future.

This is just my opinion. A single person's point of view. Please know that the things I pointed out are not flat out negativity but rooms for improvement. Also, please feel free to ask questions if you have any. Thank you for trusting me!



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