I Hate My Brother (editing!)

14.

"I knew it! You look hot! The slit totally compliments your legs!" Cass excitedly turns me in a circle, before noticing my discomfort. "What's wrong? You don't like it?"

"No, not really." I mutter while absentmindedly fiddling with the hairties on my left wrist. Somehow, that caught her attention and understanding seems to dawn on her.

"Hey, Kelsey." She grabs both my hands in hers. "Scars are a part of you. There's no need to be ashamed or afraid of it. You're a fighter, and these," she rubs her thumb over two of the hairties without unravelling the scars completely, "are reminders of your strength."

I open my mouth to argue about that but she swiftly cuts me off. "Don't tell me it's weakness, no. It's strength and bravery. It takes a lot for someone to survive what you have been through. Your scars are there to remind you of what you've gone through, and that's in no way weak. If you're weak, you wouldn't be where you are right now."

"I don't think I'm ready to say that I've won the battle against my demons." I whisper, my eyes fixated at our hands between us.

"I know, and you don't have to. One step at a time. You've been hiding behind pullovers for the entire week. Now that I recall, even during both parties, you were in long sleeves. How about we try, we start by going once a week without covering? Keep the hairties on. If you want, let's go shop for some bracelets and a nice watch. So people wouldn't be curious about the hairties. But in all honesty, their opinions are irrevelant. What's important is that you, yourself, accepts them as a part of your own."

I glance up at her dark brown eyes, touched to see the gentleness and warmth in them. In a spur of the moment, I reach out to pull her in a tight hug. I feel her stiffen at first, yet instantly relaxes when she returns the embrace.

"Thank you, Cass. Those words mean more to me than you know. Nobody has ever said it to me before. And now hearing it for the first time, it makes me realize I really haven't tried hard enough at moving on. I keep hiding, running, when what I should be doing is accepting and learn from it." I pull back to meet her gaze, a wide smile is plastered on her face. "Okay, baby steps. Let's buy this dress."

———
Sunday evening, I decide that it's time I get my lazy ass up for a run. Unfortunately, I'm not one of those girls who can't seem to get fat no matter how much they eat. If I continue eating without exercising, I am definitely going to put on weight. Despite really hating to work out, being unable to fit into my favourite pair of shorts and jeans would make me even more depressed.

So I put on the only pair of New Balance sneakers I brought from home, grab my phone and earpiece, before rounding the neighbourhood on my feet. The skies are coloured in orange and a tinge of pink, the white light from street lamps coming alive one by one. By now, I've probably circled the shops and the park for at least five times.

Shit. I realize I actually didn't think to bring out any money. And here I am dying of thirst.

Just then, a car slows down and honks at my attention while I stand by the pavement. It'll be another fifteen minutes to run back to the house from where I'm at, but if I'm lucky, I can catch a ride too; albeit in my sweaty and stinky attire.

"Kel?" The windows of the white car rolls down, revealing my brother at the driver's seat. He had went out last night, probably to stayover at one of his flings' place, and is now possibly on his way home.

"Hey," I suck in a deep breath. This is one of the rare moments we catch each other alone, much less even conversing. "Um, are you heading back?"

"Yeah, you jogging back or do you want a ride?" He studies my sportswear from top to toe. I have on a loose white tanktop and grey leggings, my hair tied up in a high ponytail.