I stayed home on Tuesday. I couldn't go to school with everyone knowing and making fun of me. I walked downstairs to find my mom getting a grocery list together. I knew since I wasn't actually "sick" I would have to go. "Hi Ethan, I made you breakfast and you need to come to the store with me." I said okay as I sat down and started to eat. I heard footsteps come downstairs as Grayson walked down with a shirt on but no pants. "Well it looks like your ready but not all the way," my mom said laughing a little bit. She took him back upstairs as I stayed downstairs. I heard my phone go off to see a text message from Alivia
Alivia- Where are you?
Me- Stayed home. Couldn't come
Alivia- You know you can't stay away forever?
Me-Yeah I know I just couldn't do it today
Alivia- Just promise you'll be here tomorrow
Me- Yes I promise I'll be there tomorrow
Alivia- Okay, do you want me to stop by later to give you the stuff you missed?
Me- Yeah that would be great thanks
Alivia- Alright see you later
Me- See you later
I put my phone down and finished my breakfast. I cleaned up my plate and went upstairs to get changed. I put on some converse, jeans, and a sweatshirt. I walked into the bathroom and cleaned up the way my hair looked and made my way back down the stairs and say my mother waiting with Grayson by her side ready to go to the store.
We walked in and right away Grayson became very antsy and constantly would do something to gains someone's attention. We were walking down the aisle when I noticed Grayson stopped behind me. I turned around and saw Alivia in the aisle with Grayson. I walked over and said "What are you doing here I thought you were in school?" She said, "I'm supposed to be at lunch but didn't want to eat there so I left and came here to get something." I shook my head as my mom came up and said "You scared me so much. I thought Grayson left again. Oh hi Alivia I didn't see you." "Hello Lisa, it's nice to see you," Alivia said. We made small talk until my mom said that we needed to continue shopping. I grabbed Graysons hand as I started to walk away but he wouldn't move. I tried again but that caused him to make a loud noise come from him. Everyone in the aisle looked at us. "Come on Grayson we need to go find mom," I said. He didn't move and continued standing in the same place. I don't know if I can do this. Constantly having to be nice towards him. Can't yell at him when I get angry. Cant talk to him about my problems at school. Won't be able to see his own brother play football and go somewhere. I grabbed his hand and drug him half way down the aisle as he was screaming as loud as he could. He went to the floor and started rocking and covering his ears his his piercing screams went through the store. My mom soon came around the corner and came down to Grayson. "Gray what's wrong? What's happened? Look at mom tell her what's wrong." All I could do was just watch and so soon turned around and walked out the store while my mom was calling my name. I went to the car and sat in the front waiting for her to come out. I laid back as I sighed. Why can't he just leave? Make my life easier? I heard the car door open and looked to see my brother being put in the back with some stray tears coming out and his cheeks red from crying. My mom came around and got into the drivers side and started the car. "Do you want to tell me what happened in the store?" I shook my head and said, "Nope. I'm not saying anything." She looked at me and said, "I know you grabbed him. There's marks on his wrists." I took a breath and said, "Okay yes I grabbed him. I can't take it with him being treated like he does. Tell him to tell you something but you know he's not going to say anything. Can't do certain things he doesn't like, okay I have things I don't like but I do them. Can't even watch the most important parts of his siblings life because he can't handle it. Like going to watch me play football and the crowd cheer as I get the winning touchdown or Cameron graduating high school and going to her dream college. I just wish he was normal." My mom had a surprised look on her face. "How could you say that about your own brother? He was made that way for a reason. Me and your father do so much for him and love him just like you and Cameron. Your lucky that you can do the things that you do because your brother won't be able to do them. Although it may not seem like he doesn't love you because he doesn't show it I know he does. You have to look pass everything and find the real him just like everyone else in the house does." She was crying as Grayson was in the back completely oblivious to what was happening. "You don't know what I had to go through just in those couple of hours yesterday. People not talking to your because of your sibling and move away from you because they think you have something. All you do is block that out when you go out and act like no one stares and act like he's normal." She said, "I never forget that he has autism when I go out. I always see the people stare when I go out and I hear the comments. I do the same thing Grayson does and block all of it out and forget about it. I know it is hard on you because it was hard on me and your father. When we first learned I would sometimes cry at night because I couldn't think of him being like that and asked myself what I did wrong. My friends who were with me for a long time stopped talking to me because of him. Your father lost clients because of him but he still treats him the same. He loves each one of you the same and so do I." I looked out the window and said, "Just go home." I saw out of the corner of my eye that she shook her head and drove to the house.