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November 16th 2018

Dear Noah,

I have been trying to push you away since it happened. I shouldn't have ever gone to the movies with you. Things will always end up going wrong for me, you don't understand. I can't have a single good thing in my life.

While we were sitting side-by-side in the theater, the second movie in, you tried to hold my hand. 

I freaked out, I completely lost it. I knew this would end up bad.

It's not even your fault, how would you know that I get panic attacks when people touch me? Even while I was sobbing and shaking, you stayed. You kept telling me to breathe.

I'm such an awful person. I don't deserve someone like you to keep trying, even when I have tried my hardest to push you away. Why won't you go away? Everyone else leaves... 

Why don't you?


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