Despair.

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(...)

It was raining. Drops tenaciously beat on the road and everything under them. Nobody know that new day may be so surprising.

Getting of the boring train I saw only strangers - no familiar face with the exception of the my daddy. I was carrying Fluffy on my hands, since I was afraid he would be hurt. He had knew our car and even once was in the town, but did not meet street traffic. He did not know this place and he could fall under one of the cars. I was afraid I would fall of the sidewalk. There were fears in my head. I took look at the passing vehicles and I could not draw my eyes away from them. The urban leaves of urban trees shyly changed colour. Some city gentleman took pictures of a couple, some urban lady waved to a shopkeeper, some urban dog (similar to mine) was jumping joyfully with some city kid, some city girl was chasing flying balloons. I opened my mouth. I have always been rather fond of balloons. Maybe it was not that bad there. I should not have divided people into cities or people like me. 
 Around the corner we turned towards a block of flats. My father bravely brought luggage to the 2nd floor. An unknown, blond girl who was holding a hand for a hand a old lady - I'm pretty sure it was her mother - smiled at me!

***
A few unfortunates months later:
Even the most delicate and the most subtle desires can turn into desperation.
Particularly when it concerns a kid.

 Fluffy hid behind a couch.

- You give me anything, just an apartment! - she sniffed and rubbed her big, blue eyes. - I can not live here, since I feel like in a trap.

- Blanca - he answered sternly

- They do not even like me in school! They often laugh because me, since I live in that block on that street.

- Blanca - He grabbed her shoulder.

- They ridiculed my favorite dress, which my mother had gave me, before she left us!

- It's time to stop, Blanca! Let me say something - He tried to croak through his daughter's crying, but her hysteria did not stop.

- Please, let's go back there.

- NO.

- BUT WHY

- NO

- I was obey as you had wanted it.

- NO

- You're stubborn - she became angry - and you do not love me - she was in tears. - I'm not surprised mommy left you!

She broken the thinnest layer of his hidden sensitivity and she trampled . She took a deep breath.

- IF YOU DON'T STOP SAYING LIES...

- Did you keep her in prison like me? - she added ignoring his hard feelings as he had done it before.

- SHUT UP. - He felt hurt similar as his daughter before.

Was it worth to lost father?

He was holding his head and turned to the window.

She go out with some kind of angry on the face and the one thing, what she had in her little, pretty head was "where is escape from this place to my mom". Maybe too sensitive Blanca felt something contradictory. Who know what's going on in that silly as a goose, mind. Probably rashness.

Was it worth to lose father?

Did escape to own, abandoned house, without any family and any hope was a good idea?

He seemed to look like he suddenly understood some of Blanca's feelings.

but that did not make the emotions fall. On the contrary. Everything inside him in one moment exploded due to the topic about his wife. The need to shout at her, hitted him and enveloped his whole body.

When he looked over his shoulder, he didn't see the little, red-haired girl, but only Fluffy, who looked at him and began sniff.

The dog began run forward the stairwell. The man repeated his steps.

Father saw her, when she was coming down the stairs.

She grabbed the door handle and left. She went out into the street with an anger in her heart.

He followed her.

The dog was faster and caught up with the little girl. But as sons as he was on the street he got scared of traffic.

Frightened, dog ran out on the road just before the speeding car, and a little girl - to save him - ran after him.

The white light with a little bit yellow tone blinded girl's eyes . Very loud car horn resounded everywhere, especially in father's ears. Maybe even the loudest in his own life. Maybe even the last in her own life.

Everywhere blood.

Was it worth to lost daughter? 


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