Bad Boy Knows My Secret (BxB)

58 - It's Complicated

"Why did you do that?" When this question left Andrew's mouth I wanted to disappear from the face of the earth.

At the same time I wished I knew the answer to it but sadly I didn't.

"I got a little distracted in my thoughts and I didn't notice where I was going... That's all." I stated as confidently as I could after I exhaled in order to seem relaxed.

"Was it because of that hug?" He completely ignored my statement. I suppose because it was unbelievable. "That meant nothing... I can't understand why you would behave so irrationally without coming to me first and asking me what happened."

"I'm telling you that I don't care about the stupid hug." I rolled my eyes in annoyance. "It may be hard to believe but the world doesn't revolve around you..."

"See, I knew you were mad at me..." Andrew looked at me with a concerned but timid facial expression. "What can I do that will make you believe me?"

"Ugh..." I sighed thinking of the ways how I would be able to avoid this conversation because of how frustrated and confused I was in that moment. "It's not your fault, okay? I was just a bit preoccupied..."

Andrew didn't pay attention to my words yet again. Instead he started closing the distance between us which seemed very intimidating for me in that moment because of how unstable I was feeling. Once he placed his slightly sweaty hands on my outfit I felt even more uncomfortable.

"Maybe this will change your mind..." He added softly before leaning down and pushing his lips forward.

"No... What are you doing? Stop!" I demanded but it was too late to resist.

Our lips connected...

This experience was very different from the previous one. There were no sparks or fireworks in my mind. I couldn't enjoy the moment unlike the last time this happened.

All I felt was him roughly trying to make me open my mouth. I resisted as long as I could. I even tried to push him away at one point but none of my attempts ended successfully.

His hands were restricting my movement so I couldn't escape from his grip.

He finally got the best of me and my lips disconnected from each other. Once he pushed his tongue in the front I tried to block it and then bit his lower lip.

"Ouch..." Andrew got the message and took a step back at last. "What was that for?"

"When I say no it means no!" I raised my voice. "What the hell is your problem?"

"I'm sorry... I just..." He touched his injured lip. Thankfully I didn't bite him hard enough to make him bleed. "I thought I would be able to clear up the situation this way."

"You thought forcing yourself onto me somehow would make me feel better? Are you crazy?" I rolled my eyes.

"I was only trying to calm you down." Andrew tried to defend his behavior.

"I'm sorry, Andrew, I've been feeling really weird lately and I don't know what's wrong with me."
I stated as I relaxed a bit more.

"What do you mean?" Andrew asked, raising his eyebrow suspiciously.

"I guess I'm just frustrated that nothing's going the way I want it to. I'm with you. I should be happy. Why am I not happy? I don't understand."

"Is it because of something I did?" He asked.

"I'm just so not used to this. Everyone has such high expectations for me. They want me to be a good friend, a good student, a good grandson and a good boyfriend meanwhile I'm so terrified I'll end up disappointing one of those people. I'm just not used to taking that sort of responsibility. I never had to care about things like that when I was living with my parents but now it's all different. I know that all they want is for me to be happy but even that puts so much pressure on me. It just kills me from the inside knowing that other people might be sad whenever they see me sad and I can't even process my own feelings because I'm too afraid to hurt them..."