Chapter 29: Kat

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Kat

I woke up the next morning alone.

Blake and I spent the night before in relative normalcy all things considered. There wasn't as much flowing conversation as usual but there wasn't the uncomfortable tension in the air that accumulated post kiss. We never brought it up again after I apologized and that was best for both of us.

I didn't hear Blake leave the room this morning or even feel him leave the bed. I'd been so tired last night after sleeping so poorly on my own in my own room the night before that I passed out on Blake's chest just a few minutes into him reading me a chapter from The Tale of Two Cities. I couldn't sleep without Blake next to me anymore. In times where I was alone with my thoughts, it worried me how dependent I'd become on him.

I depended on Blake for comfort, food, safety, sleeping, and general happiness.

All I'd given him in return was a fractured heart.

I wanted to do something for him, something to show him my gratitude or make him feel as taken care of as he'd made me feel these last few weeks. He deserved to have someone in his life take care of him for once. Blake worked tirelessly to keep me safe, to keep me from being chosen at the Line-ups, and was now still trying to work out another plan to get me out of here safely.

I hadn't done shit for him aside from make his life more complicated.

Sitting myself up on the bed, I searched my gaze across the room, determined to find something nice to do for him. I could alphabetize his book collection but one part of me was pretty sure Blake would hate that as he wasn't even a huge fan of me touching his books to begin with. The other part of me just really didn't want to do such tedious, mind-numbing work.

My eyes skirted across the floor and realized that the only nice thing I could do for him was to pick up his room and make it a bit neater. I had after all been living in his room for close to a month now and hadn't exactly done my part to help keep it clean.

Still unsure of where Blake was or when he was coming back, I shimmed out of his bed and started my cleaning in the bathroom. I had to pee anyways and brush my teeth so why not just start there, too?

After organizing his bathroom counter, I shuffled out to the bedroom and made the bed. While fluffing a pillow, my eyes jumped over to the black journal on his nightstand.

Had he written anymore poems since the one about the Rose?

I felt like a goddamn idiot for not putting two and two together back when Blake caught me reading it and became visibly uncomfortable. I felt like an even bigger idiot for not realizing it when he told me flat out that I was dense when it came to poetry.

It wasn't until now, after everything that's happened the last couple days and the kiss that I even began to think about the poem again and who he had actually written it for. Blake had been feeling something between us long before I ever caught on and had basically admitted it in so many words that day. I had assumed that Abbigail was the rose he spoke of in the poem but I had assumed wrong.

God, I really needed someone to smack me over the head with any information regarding emotions that I needed to be aware of.

Just as I was smoothing out the wrinkles on the bed, the noise of the bedroom door opening behind me circled through the room. Doing a quick spin in place, I found Blake standing in the doorway with a white bag fisted in one hand and a perplexed look fitted on his face.

"Did you clean up in here?"

Feeling suddenly embarrassed, I lowered my head and answered him softly. "Yeah."

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