Echo

Chapter 5: Remember When

Lea could feel her throat closing up, remembering how torn she had been. In the end, it had been a battle of wills as she struggled to fulfill her end, all the while regretting and wondering. 

“She black mailed you?” Darren questioned in disbelief. “Are you saying she threatened to fuck him up publicly if you didn’t do what she wanted?” he demanded in a way that had Lea feeling even sorrier for the answer she had to give him. 

“That’s what I’m saying” Lea agreed and saw the anger and hurt Darren couldn’t hide. “I hated her for so long and I hated that she had that kind of power over me but… but looking back on it now, what she did wasn’t entirely terrible” she said, thoroughly shocking her friend. 

“How could you say it wasn’t terrible?” Darren demanded in a voice roughened by his barely contained anger. “She fucking black mailed you, Lea. She took things, personal things and used them against you” he all but yelled. “How could you keep this from me?” It was a question Lea had anticipated but even so, she was certain she had the answer he wanted. 

“Look, at the time I would have walked away. I would have left Echo and I would have stayed with Cory” Lea admitted, saying the words she had never spoken aloud to anyone else. “It probably would have been the biggest mistake I could have made then but I was willing to do it anyway. Mia held me back from that and as much as I wanted to hate her for it, she kept me in check when my emotions were doing all the thinking.” 

“That still doesn’t make it better, Lea” he said, unable to hold back the disappointment he so obviously felt. 

“Maybe not” she acknowledged. “But nothing about that situation was easy, Darren. I was a twenty year old who only knew that the person I loved more than anything in the world was hurting. I didn’t have the common sense or experience to handle it so she stepped in. She did it wrong and played with my head but in the end, she just did what she had to do as manager. She looked out for me, no matter how much I wanted to believe she was an evil hag.” 

A moment passed while he absorbed everything, leaving Lea to contemplate on whether or not he would understand. “But you still haven’t answered my question” Darren reminded though he seemed visibly calmer. “Why didn’t you say anything to the band… why didn’t you say anything to me? You kept this piece of information to yourself even after I started dating Mia. Why?” he asked, still unable to see Lea's reasoning for the choice she made. 

“When I returned for the last leg of the tour, my body was there but my heart wasn’t. It was in LA with Cory at his Drug Rehabilitation Center. It was in LA with Dianna who was mourning her brother’s death. It was in the past” Lea said because it was the only way she could explain her decision. “So when the haze finally lifted from my mind and I slowly started to become the person I once was, I couldn’t take a step backwards by acknowledging what happened with Mia. Call me selfish, I’d deserve it but I just couldn’t do it.” 

Darren remained quiet, as though processing her words. Lea knew it wasn’t easy for him to suddenly find out his girlfriend of two years had kept some pretty big secrets from him. 

“Is there anything else?” he finally asked in a quiet tone. Lea wanted to reach out to him but wasn’t sure it would be wanted just then. Instead she shook her head and gave him almost inaudible, no. “Right… well I’m gonna get going. Night, Lea.” 

“Darren… I know this doesn’t make things better but I am sorry” Lea apologized and watched him nod once before strolling back out the room. 

Alone again, she walked over to the window and looked out at the Hollywood skyline. She had been loathsome to return to her hometown, even for only a day to do the Jimmy Kimmel Show but she hadn’t had a choice in the matter. Sarah booked it and there was no backing out, no matter how much she wanted to.