Anxiety • part 1

49 • truth

"You never told me why you parents decided not to come along." AnneMarie said. We were walking through the bridesmaid dresses section at a wedding store and so far we have found a few dresses to try out.

"My dad is having some trouble with his health, so he and mom couldn't come. They hope to be able to see you another time soon." I said with a half smile. She's been here for 4 days now and she has waited patiently untill today to ask about it. We were alone now so now was her time to ask. Ashton had taken the others to go see LA while we went shopping.

"I hope it's nothing to serious and that he recovers soon."

I stayed quiet for a while, unsure if I should tell her or not but sooner or later the truth would come out so I told her. "He is undergoing chemo and radiation for a brain tumor." She stopped as I said that and looked at me. "Jackie is here to be able to take her mind off it for a week so I'm glad she gets along so well with Harry and Lauren because they're helping her a lot."

"I am so sorry honey." She said before pulling me in for a hug, but I had no tears left to cry about this. I've went through all stages already and I had accepted it. Crying or being angry wasn't going to save him. "How is his prognosis?" She asked when she noticed I was okay, weirdly enough.

"9 months, but they're hoping the treatment would shrink the tumor enough to be able to operate and remove it, if they could do that, his prognosis would change from months to years."

"How are you dealing with it?" She asked and I shrugged my shoulders a little.

"I'm learning to accept it but it's bringing a lot of flashback. My dad is my everything so the thought of possible losing him-" I said but I didn't finish my sentence. I couldn't.

"You're a strong girl Sam. You've been through so much more than you ever deserved." She said softly as she took out another dress for me to try on.

"Nobody deserves this, this is something I wouldn't even want my worst enemies to go through." I said with a sigh.

"Is Ashton any help at the moment?" She asked with a small smile and I nodded.

"He lets me talk as much as I want without ever complaining and always listening. He's learning to see when I'm about to have a panic attack before I realise I'm having one. Which has happened a bit more frequent the past week as this all is definitely a big trigger. But he's been amazing and really helping me through it." I looked at her with a smile and we walked to the fitting rooms with like 5 dresses in the same colour. She has already gotten Lauren and Abby's dressed back home so my dress had to be the same colour.

"Ashton is an amazing guy, always has been. I'm glad he found someone who sees that and who is just amazing for him." She said before badically pushing me in a dressing room.

She handed me all dresses and I closed the curtain before kicking off my shoes and taking off my jeans and shirt. I put my hair in a high ponytail so it wouldn't be in the way and tried the dresses on. I kept the best one untill last and when I walked out with thatone, an immediate smile came on her face.

"That's the one." She said as she looked me up and down. It was a long, strapless dress and I really liked it too. They would have to make it a little smaller in the back but it was perfect.

"I really like it, Lauren showed me pictures of their dresses and this will fit perfect with them." I replied with a smile as I looked at her.

"When you were in Australia, the scar wasn't that visible." She said as her eyes stopped and stared at it, still a smile on her face.

"It healed pretty good but because I got a tan now, it shows harder than it did in the winter. The scar tissue can't tan anymore so the more time I spend sunbathing, the more visible it becomes." I said with a small smile. I learned to live with it and I honestly don't see it anymore. "But I can cover it up with make up so I'll hide it on your wedding day." I suggested and her eyes shot up to meet mine.