thirty nine

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the whole table was talking, making parallels subjects but i stood quiet, just smiling and nodding when someone talked to me. david left the table, probably going to the bathroom. that was the only time he let go of my hand the entire evening. then, i saw christina quickly move to his seat to talk to me. "hey, are you okay?" she asked and i smiled, looking at her.

"yeah, why?" i started to nervously tap my fingertips on my thighs.

"i can see that you and david are not talking to each other, i was curious about what happened" christina had worry eyes.

"i don't know if you aware about the whole situation, but we tried something and he lied, saying that he liked me but in the end he didn't want a relationship with me" i explained briefly.

"oh" she nodded. "you know he had an intense relationship with liza, i think you can understand why he doesn't want to date right now" i know she's not trying to be rude, but that hurts a little. "you know i don't like to lie..." she paused. "maybe i shouldn't be saying that"

"well, now that you already started" i laughed softly, with no humor in my tone, putting my shaky hands under my legs.

"i really love you, but i don't think david is over liza, that's why he's so afraid to be in a relationship with you" mrs dobrik sighed. "and you're not the problem, he's just really confused and none of you three are the problem, david just need more time to heal and be ready to be with someone else" i just nodded. when she was going to say one more thing, i think she saw david because she only kissed my cheek and went back to her seat. before he could even sit on the table, i got up really fast and looked for a place far away from the reception.

i went to lake near where the ceremony happened a few hours ago. all of the chairs and decorations were gone now, so i just leaned against a big tree, trying not to ruin my dress. i felt my chest heavy, wanting to cry so hard, but no tears coming.

there was no reason for christina to lie to me, so that hit me so hard that i don't even know how to handle it. i kinda knew deep down that he wasn't over liza completely or just not ready to be with me, but i denied it for so long that seeing it now makes me want to shoot myself in the face. ugh, why my life is so messed up? god this is fucking torture.

i heard footsteps behind me, so i turned around, seeing david. i didn't notice before, but he was so good wearing that suit. i sighed and watched him stepping closer to me. "what happened?" he asked quietly when he was close enough. i shook my head, trying to avoid his eyes. "can you look at me?" i swallowed thickly after meeting his eyes. "you know you can't ignore me forever, right?" david said after a few seconds in silence.

"i can if i want to" i mumbled.

"see? you just talked to me" i small smile played on his lips. god how i miss those lips. "ophelia, i just wanna know what happened" he took a deep breath. "i've been feeling so afflicted these past few days"

i crossed my arms and raised my eyebrows. "boohoo poor you" i rolled my eyes. "david if you only knew what i've been through because of you..." i tried to calm myself down. "david you crushed my heart! you lied to me for months! do you have any idea of how shattered i was when i heard you talking to liza?" he was going to say something, but i continued. "god, you said so many beautiful things to me the day before, saying that you wanted me in every way, but the next day you said you didn't want to date me, meaning that you just played with my feelings for almost five months david!" fuck, don't cry!

he shook his head a few times. "no, that was not what i meant" he stepped closer.

"then what david? you were just joking?" i asked sarcastically.

"no, i said that because it was liza, it felt weird to talk about you with her" i laughed really hard.

"don't even try!" that was so pathetic. "even your mother told me that she knows you aren't ready for commitment"

"what?" he frowned.

"yeah, she talked to me just now saying that you just don't want to date me because you're not over liza" david went quiet for a few minutes, meaning that he admitted that he wasn't over her. my eyes teared up. "i knew it" i mumbled before starting to walk away, already knowing his answer. david was quick to grab my wrist, stopping me.

"don't assume those things ophelia, fuck, let me explain" he didn't let me answer him and continued. "i'm over liza, of course i'm, it has been almost a year since we broke up, she's not even part of the story right now" he ran his free hand through his hair. "i said that because, yes, i'm afraid of being in a relationship with you, but it's not that i don't like you, i'm just... scared" david sighed. "but i'm even more scared of losing you, that's why i didn't want to date, i didn't want it to end, it's just feel like we have an expiration date, because that's the only thing i got when i had something with someone" he slid his fingers, intertwining them with mine. "but i need to let go of this fear, i want to be with you, i need you in my life" he was so close to me that i could feel our breaths mixing together. "this past month was so hard cause i missed you more and more every fucking day, i don't know if i can handle losing you for real"

"i missed you too" i mumbled and he gave me a small smile.

"and you know why i'm so scared to lose you?" i didn't answer, feeling my heart pumping really fast. "it's because i love you" i watched him as his eyes teared up too. "i love you so much that it fucking hurts" david looked down, probably trying to hide his tears. "and it hurts even more knowing that you won't believe me"

i sighed and gently gripped his chin, making his eyes meet mine. a few tears rolled down his cheeks. "how can i believe you after all of this?" i whispered, crying quietly.

"ophelia, none of this was a lie!" he snapped, letting go of my hand. "can you just believe me for a second?"

"you know this is hard" i shook my head.

he copied me and put his hands on his pockets after whipping away the tears. "you know what?" david nervously bit his bottom lip. "don't believe me if that's what you want" he shook his head. "when you finally realize that all of this is true, call me"

and i stood there, watching him walking away from me. the tears rolled down my cheeks as my heart was breaking one more time.

___

opheliar: a sad princess at my sissy's wedding yay

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opheliar: a sad princess at my sissy's wedding yay

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username: a true princess wow
opheliar: thanks cutie

username: i'm SO in love with that dress

charliemoore: i'm such a good photographer lol

tchalamet: that wedding was a mf bop! miss you already
opheliar: ikr!! love you

zane: wow!!! miss you hottie

hannahmeloche: JSJFKSNDK i died
opheliar: lmao love you bby

ophelia [david dobrik]Read this story for FREE!