"Mom, can you pass me the butter, please?" I said politely, smiling to my mother.
"You do have your own hands, don't you?" She said while spreading butter on my twin brother's bread.
"Oh look at you Jack, you look all grown-up now. My son will go to high school today, i am really proud of you son." Mom said while kissing Jack's forehead. The very first morning of my high school inaugurated with the same old drama. I am really knackered of this shit now .All i ever needed and asked for was a little love and care and she can't even grant me that . I won't really mind if she even pretend to love me . I always wanted to share stuffs with my mother like normal girls do. I would have even feel lucky if she scolded me on a daily basis but she clearly ignored my existence and i always wanted to ask her why. Since childhood i have been suffering to this drama, my mom giving all her love to my brother where i would stay at my room shutting my eyes tightly, gritting my teeth hard and feeling something wet running down my cheeks and rest follow. I started behaving like a lad in a hope that i can get my mother's love now as she loved my brother but situation didn't changed a bit that's when i sort of gave up, i didn't bother to try again and fight for my mother's love, but as a result now my whole clothing is of a lad, my whole attitude is of a lad, but on the inside i am a lonely little girl craving for her mother's love. Kids not like going to school but it was totally different case with me, i loved going to school, being with my friends. It was way too difficult for me to plaster a smile everyday when i was suffering inside. Those sufferings started suffocating me day after day. Then i found those angels who really loved me for who I am, who knew that i do exist. The love that i should be getting from my family was given by my friends especially Marti, she has always been there with me through thick and thin. My friends are literally my world. I really don't care about her anymore i just want to complete my high school and get out of this hell now.
The most exciting thing about high school is i am going there with my old school mates . I reached my classroom and found some old guy pals of mine, not a single sign of my bitches , they all always does that. I want to beat them all up. Kharlie must be on her family vacation while othets ermm i really don't have any idea . Every year she go around the world for family vacation, how lucky she is, leave family vacation i will be much more than happy if i'll even have a family.
I was sitting on my bench and talking to a Kendall Young, she is also from my old school. She is a beautiful girl with beautiful legs and beautiful everything. The only problem with her is her attitude, the way she talks and behaves. I wasn't really intrested in listening her shit, all she talks about is Boys! Boys! And boys! I am boy myself, girl. Snort. So i did something productive,i.e., stared at the front door of our class watching all the newbies, i love making new friends like I am an extrovert to next level but none of the person entered the classroom seems to be nice, the moment i thought that my eyes were caught by a girl who literally rushed from the front door to the first sit of the class that is i guess hardly 4-5 inch away from each other. All i can she was her back, she had a very smooth ash grey hair. I don't know why but i was really tempted to go and talk to her.
"Hey Kendall! I'll talk to you a little later. Bye!" Fhewwww
"Okay bye." And then she left, i wonder what she had been talking about.
I patted her back and saw this beautiful girl with a totally nervous expression.
"Hey! I am Laila. Nice to meet you." I said.
"Hi! I am Ashley. Nice to meet you too." She looks really awkward.
" why are sitting here all alone? Come join us Ashley." I couldn't figure out what to say next. Ermm join whom?
"No, it's okay. I am fine"
"Okay." I smiled and left.
As i assumed, she is really nice. I can't sit alone now, can i? So i took my backpack and went to sit with her. And we talked with a lot of awkward silence in between, her social anxiety are literally to next level . I guess we are friends now.
Next day at school.
"Where were you guys yesterday?" I said almost bursting out at my pals, tho i am really happy to see them.
"Will you please buy a cell phone, Laila? For god's sake!". Rita said with a cringe, her cringe expression always makes me laugh.
"Exactly. We wanted to inform you girl." Marti said. Idk, why are they bursting out on me?.
We are all in the loo now, my first day of high school with them is everything that I could ask for. I should introduce them to Ashley now. We all could be friends. They all will love her.
"Yeah. Whatever i hate technologies. " well well, yes that is a lie. I always wanted a cell phone but my mother didn't allowed me to use one , allowed as in gave money.
"Okay girls, you know our rules right? No new friends, okay?" Marti said, i should tell her about Ashley, shouldn't i? They'll all love her.
"Yes." Everyone said, synchronised to another level.
We went back to our classroom. After just entering the classroom my eyes were caught by Ashley, she was smiling at me. Oh god! What do I do know? I panicked and this resulted in a sudden, out of nowhere eyes roll.
I didn't intended to do it. Will she ever forgive me for this? Ashley please forgive me. They are my everything, they are all that I have now, i can't say no to them.
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Just a quick question everyone (all two of you)
- would the child version of you be proud or disappointed of what you've become ?