Innocence, Experience and Wisdom

Milk of Human Kindness

I met this brother from the northeast state of India and he did not want to go home. He was there in Mumbai for more than 3 years. He had come with his air hostess girlfriend but she left him as she found other richer interest than that financially weak guy. He also did not help matters by nosing around with other girls. The classic example of a small town boy/girl blinded in the city of blinding lights. He was handsome, a darling of the girls, and he was a friend of a friend. We used to get together and during a conversation I came to know that he had not gone to his home for more than three years because of some unresolved issues with issues like sibling rivalry and things like unfairness of the parents etc. according to his version. It was his personal matter so I did not inquire much into it but I gave him a solid advice as I had learnt it the hard way due to my grand mom's demise that when a loved one passes away the biggest regret you will have is not to have expressed your love to them, to look in their eyes and see that they feel loved when you express your love and affection to them. After they are gone, end of story, nothing you can do will bring them back. During the course of the conversation I found out that he was not in speaking terms with his parents because of a slight that he perceived from them as they had not met his expectations. I told him that, "Bhai other things aside, they are not going to last forever and after they have passed away you will go to their grave and cry your heart out but they will not be there. If they could, they would even rise up from the grave to embrace you, to comfort you but they can't and more importantly if you go home and reconcile with them, they will be the happiest person in the whole of your home state." He did not say anything after that and I left the conversation at that. Afterwards, I found out that he had gone home after six months of that conversation and now after more than 15 years he is still in his hometown, has opened a travel agency and is happily married with two kids. The power of words and the right advice at the right time can change the course of destiny for a man.

The next best incident is quite hilarious and dangerous too. Dangerous because of that guy's action and hilarious because of the reason. I knew this friend's friend from a north eastern state of India and he was staying in a boy's hostel nearby. I was friends with him and we used to hang out sometimes when I had holidays. He was a good looking guy, fair and talented too as he used to play the guitar and also rode a bike. He was a bit awkward and weird and he also had the same story as the other guy, some unresolved slight from his parents, he got hurt and came out here in Mumbai. I knew him because I was in the hostel during my initial years in Mumbai. Later I shifted to a nice flat, the owner of whom was the same Sindhi uncle who used to own the hostel. I had completely forgotten about that guy and one day was watching a movie after work when all of a sudden comes a knock on my door and as I opened the door uncle was there in a very agitated state. He was literally shouting as soon as I opened the door and saying, " Bishal pagal ho gaya hai" (Bishal has gone mad). Bishal was me and not that guy, he had another name but as both of us were from the northeast, everyone assumed that he was me and his name was Bishal. I said, " No, uncle Bishal is me and I am not mad." Uncle was like, "Come quickly as he has tried to commit suicide and is about to die." On hearing this, I quickly got into the uncle's car and drove the short distance from the flat to the hostel. There on the fourth floor of his hostel, that guy was lying on the floor with white froth coming out of his mouth and he was shouting, " I don't want to die. Please save me. I don't want to die." I was surprised as to why no one was helping him and found out that no one in the hostel wanted to help him because if that guy died then they would get in trouble with the police. And why did the uncle call me, so that he could get him out of the hostel as soon as possible. I was as confused as the rest and could not figure out what and why it had happened. Anyways, I thought police or no police it is my duty to help a fellow human being. The thought did not come to me that he was from the north east or any other place. If it was someone who was from a different part of India or for that matter even a different part of the world I would not have hesitated to help. It is strange that these people chose me to help him on the basis of our ethnicity when I hardly even knew him and was in no way related to him. In fact, he had a roommate who was closer to him from some other part of India. However, I felt that God had chosen me to help and help I would. I got into action. I asked him what happened and what did you do. How did this happen to you? In the meantime, that uncle was telling me, "get this guy out of here because if he dies here than it will be a bad business for my hostel." I ignored him. Then that guy who was coming in and out of consciousness said that he wants to talk to his mom. The uncle called his mom's number and that guy was going again through the same dialogue like, "Save me mom, I don't want to die." I tried talking to his mom but she would not talk to me straight and in fact was rude to me as if implying that I was responsible for her son's condition (I was surprised and hurt. Later, I found out that she thought that I was another Bishal Rai who was not so good and who had got her son in trouble in the past. She later explained and apologized with me for that.) I ignored her rudeness and told her to come and collect him as soon as possible. In the meantime, I got into action because that uncle was adamant that he should be out of his hostel as soon as possible. The only other guy who helped me was an African guy who was staying there. He called an auto and I carried that guy all the way from the top of the stairs towards the auto and drove him quickly to the private emergency clinic. I thought that it was mild and that as he lay unconscious (He had lost his consciousness by the time we were talking to his mom) on the emergency ward bed I thought that a splash of water would wake him up and some oral medicines would patch him up. However, the severity of the situation hit me when the doctor inserted the needle in his arms many times and still there was no response from him. I paid the advance a the clinic and told the doctor to keep him in under observation for the night. As it was past midnight and I had to go to work early the next day I went home. The next day after work, I went to visit him and by the Grace of God he was OK and fully awake. I went to the doctor and he told me that he had pumped out toilet cleaning fluids from his body. I was shocked and wanted to know why he would do that to himself. The next day his parents also arrived and his mom was hysterical. She was like if he had died how can I produce a full grown boy. It would have been tragic. She apologized to me and said sorry for the misunderstanding and was very grateful for the help. Later she told me that he had tried to commit suicide by drinking the poison. The reason was a girl. He was in a relationship with a girl from another city. It seems that the girl was already engaged and had come to the city to enjoy her freedom for some time before she would get married. She was having a nice time and was having an affair and was not serious about the whole thing  but this guy fell head over heels for her and when she left him for good, he tried to take his own life by drinking that uncle's toilet cleaning fluid. Apparently, he had closed the door to his room and when the chemical started having its effect on him, he got scared and unable to open the door by himself started shouting for help. The people forced the door open and found him lying on the floor rambling about saving him from death with froth coming out of his mouth. Naturally, they got scared and would not touch him as they knew that they would get in trouble with the police if that guy died. The rule of the world, self-preservation at all cost. I also follow that rule to the dot but I do make some exceptions and that situation I thought was the right time to make that exception. I shudder at the thought of what would happen to that guy, especially his mom whom I met afterwards if I had also not taken the risk of helping him. What if he had died in spite of my efforts. The risks were there but I did what was my duty. However, this story had a happy ending. He went back to his home. He did not want to leave but I advised his parents strongly that he has some issues and alone he would be dead quickly and at that time he might not get help in time. She took my advice and now he is employed as a bank manager and he is apparently alive and well, married with three kids back in his home state. We still keep in touch through social media but have lost touch for the past couple of years. I have no issues that he remembers that gesture from me or not but I on my part did my duty and God has rewarded me handsomely and abundantly with His blessings in innumerable ways.

These experiences solidify my stand that to do good and be good is a virtue and a blessing in itself. Human nature will not always be the best at all times but that does not mean that I also have to be like them. I refuse to be bitter because someone was bitter to me. Instead I use that as a lesson and use that to be wary of people like them but I do not let it change my fundamental principle or value which is to be good and to do good because I am also here blessed in this position of life because someone someway along the road has also been good to me so I am simply passing on that goodness to the world. However, I do not stand haughtily on the moral high horse and preach that I am good and the other are not but reflect on the fact that I am good because that is my value and that people in general are good. Just because of a few bitter people, I will not let the milk of human kindness in me go sour. I will nurture and pass this along and now I have a new member in my family, my son. He is a blessing and I will make sure that he also holds this goodness and passes it along because his father has also been blessed and nurtured by the same milk of human kindness.