*Mature and Explicit Content*
"If it feels so right, how can it be wrong?"
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I watch as Harrys breathing shallows, his eyes glazing over as his brows furrow "You really want that?"
I nod without missing a beat, assuring him "I really do, is...
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This was the two sides of my brain watching me write these next two chapters.
"A fool could see just how much I adore you I'd get down on my knees, I'd do anything for you
I don't want anybody else When I think about you, I touch myself"
Song: Touch Myself - The Divinyls
***
I look to Harry eagerly, grinning "Really?"
He blows out a slow breath, like he can't even believe it himself "Sure, can't say no to you"
He pauses like he remembers something, and looks to me with his brows knitted in concern "Would Dylan care? I don't want to do something you'd regret later or would cause trouble...I dunno, just, wouldn't she be upset with me showing you that?"
I don't expect that question, and my shoulders deflate as I shake my head "Harry, I could suck your dick right now and she wouldn't give a shit, it's fine - trust me"
I can't explain why to Harry right now, and frankly I don't want to, I can tell him another time.
It's something only Finn knows, and I think the reason I've kept it from Harry, is because I know how angry he would be, I can't say I blame him, it's making me angry lately too.
Harrys face drops, and he winces "Please don't mention sucking my dick right now - and what do you mean she wouldn't give a shit, she's your girlfriend Joey"
I give him an earnest look, hoping he will let me explain another time "Can I tell you about it later? I promise I'll explain it, just trust me okay?"
He gives me a worried look but nods "Of course I trust you, but you're explaining all of it later - I mean it"
"I promise" I agree quickly, hoping we can drop the subject now.
I don't want to think about Dylan, I just want to enjoy the time I'm spending with him now.
Somehow I think telling him that Dylan has been sleeping with other women most of our relationship would ruin the moment we're having and I'd be stuck spending another night being tortured over it.
She's not cheating on me, I guess, when I know about it?
A few years ago she told me she wasn't a monogamous person, that she had tried for me and it wasn't who she was and if I really loved her I wouldn't try and change her.
That if I couldn't accept it she would be forced to leave me, and it would be my fault and I didn't want that.
I'm an extremely loyal and monogamous person, and agreeing to it killed me, but she just made me feel so selfish and guilty when I got upset, saying she was trying to be honest with me and how could I expect her to be honest with me if I reacted that way, how self centred I was being.
