Loving Him...

...Is Now A Past

"Hi, Kit..." Beam greeted the other man nonchalantly.

"You didn't answer my calls these past weeks."

Beam snorted softly. Mockingly. "Are you serious?"

Kit attempted to touch Beam's arm. Beam avoided the hand. "I wanted to apologize." Kit said.

Beam tilted his head, calculating the sincerity in the other man's voice. "Don't you think it's all too late for that?"

Kit bit his lip then pursed them, showing his deep dimples. The dimples Beam once loved so much. "B-Beam..."

Beam gazed at Kit's light brown eyes. From one iris to another.

No. He doesn't feel the hurt anymore. "We've been over long before I could accept it. There's no reason for me to answer your calls. And I don't even know how you knew my number."

"Beam...I'm sorry." Tears are forming in Kit's eyes. "I'm--

"Don't. Just don't. You don't deserve it. I went through hell to forget you...You asked me to do so countless times. Forgiving you. Or forgetting you. You don't deserve to know the answer to either one of these." Beam then started to walk away.

The smaller hand stopped Beam on his steps.

"Let go."

"Beam...listen to me, please."

Beam turned around, his face devoid of any emotion. He stared at the other man who's tears are now running down his cheeks.

"Beam...he's...
....he's cheating on me." Kit tried to confide to his ex lover.

Beam didn't laugh. He didn't smile. But he didn't show sadness either. "So?"

Kit lowered his head. He feels so small in front of the man who once gave his all to him. Yet he abandoned him and married another. Another man who after a year of marriage cheated on him for a woman.

He then only realized the pain that he must have inflicted on Beam. Only then he realized how wrong he was for leaving him.

He looked back up to the beautiful face of the man who loved him. He could feel that Beam had already moved on. And it's hurting him to think so.

"Beam...don't you feel anything at all? We were so so in love. You can't just forget that. We had beautiful times together."

Beam shut his eyes close. For a few seconds. He was measuring the depths of his own emotions.

"True. We did have beautiful memories. Loving you were many things, Kit. Beautiful ones.

...But all I remember were the consequences of you abandoning the love that I gave you.

...You left me."

Beam felt lighter after saying the last ounce of his painful thoughts. He had been meaning to utter these words to his ex lover in person.

Without getting mad. Without losing himself. And here he is. Still standing. Still not crying. Much more bawl his eyes out and beg the other person to come back.

"Beam..."

Beam's lips formed a wistful smile. "Loving you is now a past, Kit. Gone were the days I had you in my heart. Gone were the days I had you in my mind.

...Whatever your problem is, I don't want any part in it.

...Even our friendship was gone the minute you threw me away like I didn't mean anything to you.

...Goodbye, Kit."

Beam walked away only to be stopped one more time. In a flash, Beam's lips were pressed against Kit's.

Beam's eyes widened out of surprise. He pushed the shorter guy harshly. He looked at Kit with pity.

Kit felt that he can use the look on Beam's eyes to his leverage. "Beam...I still have feelings for you. Please? I'll come back to you. We can live together again like we used--

"Stop. Don't be like me and beg for my love like I did to you. It's pathetic." Beam pried the hand off that was cupping his face.

Beam briskly walked away.

"Beam!" Kit yelled desperately.

"Is there a problem here?" Forth asked the other man behind Beam. He halted Beam's steps as his lover bumped into him. "You okay, love?"

Beam looked up and smiled. "Just some business I managed to finally close."

Forth smiled at Beam tenderly. He can see relief and calmness in Beam's voice and his eyes. "Yeah?"

Beam nodded as he hugged his lover back.

Forth kissed Beam forehead and whispered. "I'm so proud of you, my angel."

"Who the fuck are you?" Kit asked irritatingly at Beam's lover.

Beam didn't really care if Kit knows Forth or not. He's contented even only at Forth's embrace.

"I'm Forth. Beam's lover."

Kit scoffed. "Lover? This is what you're replacing me with?"

Beam got annoyed with the term Kit used to refer to the man he fell in love with. While hugging Forth, Beam bravely faced his past again.

"He's not your replacement. He's different from you. You were just a painful past to me now. Forth. Is my present. My future. My forever. Something you never were."

Kit gasped. He couldn't believe what Beam is telling him. And without blinking too. Beam's voice didn't shake either.

Has Beam really moved on? Has Beam really put him behind to the past already?

"Beam..."

"Wanna know something else? I bottom for this man. He's damn good at it, too. You never accepted my offer. I never knew it could feel so good.

...So yeah. Replacement is never a term I would use, much more think of. This man..." Beam looked at Forth's eyes and his palm is pressed against Forth's broad chest.

"...I love him. I love his sweetness. His romantic gestures. His patience. And more that he can offer me. I would love them all.

...and all that I have and will have, I will give it to him. Like I said...he is my forever.

...fix and face your own problem, Kit. I did the same."

"Beam, please..." Kit begged desperately.

Beam held Forth's hand and walked them through the hallway. Leaving his past love without saying goodbye.  He had enough goodbyes with him.

Forth would kiss Beam's hair and cheek from time to time as they returned back to the ballroom, hands that were held together swaying back and forth along the way.

Their giggles made the other guests turned to see the two lovebirds as they display their affection for each other openly.

"And here comes my son and his beautiful and handsome partner.

...Please welcome, Dr. Tae Darvid Kreepolrerk and Dr. Tee Thanapon Jarujitranon."

Daniel's voice graced the whole ballroom hall. Forth and Beam glanced at each other before walking towards the stage without breaking their gaze on each other's eyes.

Forth's smile wasn't letting up. "You love me?"

Beam's smile was accompanied by his reddened cheeks. "Yes, I do."

As they stepped on the stage, Forth pulled Beam close and kissed him in front of the hundreds of pairs of eyes.

"Tee, will you marry me?" No kneeling. No flowers. No ring. Just a question popped through a soft whisper only Beam could hear.

"Yes, I will."

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A/N: Please forgive me for any grammar mistakes, typos, and poor use of words.

Thanks for dropping by!

See ya when I see ya.😘

-ZiaJang