lonely in a group - zayn centric

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Prompt: Can u do a one shot were zayn is really innocent and is the youngest,smallest and the boys start ignoring him and being mean to him and they find him crying or cutting:( or something and then a whole bunch of fluff

Warning: self harm, swears, depression

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Zayn doesn’t really remember when their group of five turned to four.

Here he sat in his bedroom back home, a pillow clutched to his chest as he tried to muffle his hiccups from crying earlier. Tear tracks covered his flushed cheeks but he didn’t bother to wipe them. It wasn’t like anybody would know. He had no more tears to shed, so he just sat there, alone again. If things hadn’t changed, if things were back to normal, he would probably be with the boys right now. He would be cuddling up with Harry while they watched Louis and Niall wresting, maybe even Liam when he decided to stop being the Daddy of the group. However, he was far from the boys, not that they seemed to care.

If he had to pick a time where things began to change, it would be when their ‘Take Me Home’ tour came to an end. They were all bouncing around on the balls of their feet, the adrenaline pumping through their veins. The crowd was still going crazy, screaming at the top of their lungs, their voices echoing in the arena. People were walking around, congratulating the boys on their successful tour and wishing them luck. Though his heart was pounding against his chest and he had to stop to catch his breath, Zayn was having the time of his life. However, it all changed within seconds.

~~~Flashback~~~

He had just finished a quick talk with Lou, who was saying goodbye since they wouldn’t be together for a month or two. He promised to drop by sometime, especially since Lux had demanded all of them to come for a playdate, and waved as she walked out the back door. He headed towards the dressing room since that seemed to be where everyone else was headed. The crowd’s cheering could still be heard from the room, which was gradually becoming an ‘end of tour’ party. Someone had popped open a bottle of champagne and was passing around the drinks. Though when he was offered, he declined (not a drop of alcohol has gone past his lips and he didn’t plan on changing that). He didn’t recognize the song playing but still nodded his head to the beat as he walked around.

He looked around the room that was beginning to fill up with people he knew and people he didn’t. He tried to listen for Niall’s loud laughter, or look for Harry’s curly mop that usually stood out, but he saw no sign of any of the boys. That was strange…he remembers seeing Liam head into this room just a few minutes ago. He tried to catch up but ended up getting stopped by Lou.

Now was a time where he despised his height disadvantage since he could barely see above anyone. Not many people seemed to acknowledge him, too busy with their celebrating of the end of their long tour. The ones who did spared him a quick smile, sometimes a pat on the back. However, Zayn was beginning to get frustrated now. Where were the boys?

“They left.” He turned when he felt a hand on his shoulder, gazing up at Paul with a confused look plastered on his face. “What?”

“The boys left a few minutes ago.” Paul must have seen the hurt that flashed through his eyes and was quick to continue. “They went out to this local club to celebrate. They know how you are about clubs and thought you wouldn’t want to join them.”

“Oh, um-yeah, okay. Yeah, that’s alright, I should probably go, promised my mum I would give her a call after the show.” Zayn smiled uneasily, hugging Paul before leaving the room. He slipped through the back, where he knew nobody but them were allowed access to. There he found the two tour buses (one for the boys and one for their band) and he slipped inside his, the silence making him anxious. It was strange to see the tour bus, that was usually filled with loud curses, laughter, and singing, so quiet. It felt foreign to him as he slipped into his bunk, leaving his curtain open for when the boys would come back.

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