Chapter 17

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-a few days later-
"darling darling doesn't have a problem, lying to herself cause her liquors top shelf..." I sang to myself drunkly as I pour another shot. I begin to feel tears well up in my eyes as I think about the events of the other night. Abel and I were working on his song at his studio and we got into a big fight after we finished his songs, he accused me of cheating on him again. I didn't fuck around and he still thinks I did, I didn't. He's such an ass sometimes Jesus. He said whatever we were, we were over. He said I wasn't good for him, said I was too young. I feel tears run down my Cheeks and throw my drink to the side, "l-lizzy..." I hear my sister say from behind me, "what?! What do you want Chuck?!" I yell at her. "lizzy- y-youre scaring me..." "Shut up!" I yell at her. She comes closer and hugs me, "Lizzy, he's gonna miss you." She says. I hug her back and cry into her shoulder, "I miss him Chuck, it-its all my fault. I did this!" I sob into her shirt. "did you...did you love him?" she asks me, "I don't know Chuck..." I say truthfully. "Chuck why don't you...go over your friends house or something?" I say to her, "Carmen-" "please Chuck..." I say to her. She hugs me, "Carmen p-please don't do anything stupid..." She says to me. I give her a small smirk and nod, "come back tomorrow." I say to her.
-the next day-
At my 5th beer I'm still crying. My tears falling into the empty glass in front of me that once held vodka. I look at the awards ive gotten, all over my walls and on shelves of my office. "All this shit and I cant keep myself from drinking." I say angrily and drunk. I look at myself in the mirror, a broken drunk star. And I'll probably die like one. A junkie. I will only be remembered by being dead. My thoughts are interrupted by the chime of the elevator. I walk into my living room and see Abel standing there, "Carmen, are you okay?" He asks me. I wipe my tears away and give him a smile, "yes of course! Would you like a drink?" I ask him as I look at him. "N-no..." He says looking at me. "So whats up?" I ask him taking a swig of my beer. "I came to see you...if you were alright..." He said. "I've never been fucking better!" I slur with a fake smile. He takes my drink away placing it on the table next to us. "Stop...please..." He whispers coming closer to me, "Stop what?" I mumbled looking at him, "the drinking, the lies...the drugs...please stop..." He says looking into my eyes. I stare at him, "why? No one fucking cares anymore, I'm just a junkie" I sniffled. "Your true fans care, Chuck cares, I care..." He said looking into my eyes. "I'm sorry about the other day Carmen, I, my ex, she cheated before on me and I always see you with other guys Carmen, it just, scares me Car..." He mumbles bringing my chin up so I was looking at him. I feel tears running down my cheeks, "I don't even know if I can trust you Tesfaye, we weren't even together." I slur to him.
"Are you sure you don't want a drink?" I asked him showing him the vodka, "Give me some..." He says looking up at me. I grab is the bottle and bring in two cups. I sit down next to Abel and pour us each a drink, "Carmen, Chuck said you tried to kill yourself." He said concerned. "She's lying." i say placing my drink down and taking out a ciggerate. "Are you just gonna keep lying to me?" He says angrily, "no one asked you to come and fucking yell at me." I said as I light it and take a long drag, "Elizabeth you might not care about your life but I do!" Abel says staring at me, "Then why the fuck did you break up with me?!" I asked him angrily, "we were never together remember?!" He says angrily, "fuck you Tesfaye!" I yell at him, he rolls his eyes, "Carmen I was sick of fucking a little girl." he says "what the fuck are you talking about?! I'm almost 18 Abel!" I said angrily, "it's not that, you're acting like one!" He says back, "what are you talking about?!" I say back just as pissed, "the partying, the drinking, the attitude, I just wanted it to stop! You're so damn immature!" He says looking into my eyes, "Abel, I'm sorry that's how you fucking feel but that's who I am!" I say angrily, "Well I don't wanna be that kind of person anymore!" Abel says to me, "what?! What are you talking about?!" I yell back. His eyes widened, "fuck! Ahhh!" He yells on pure anger, "what is it what aren't you telling me Abel?!" "Just shut up Carmen!" He screams at me, I slap him, I don't know why I just do, he looks at me surprised, "I hate you!" He yells at me, I felt my heart shatter, "f-fine! J-just leave! I knew this would happen anyway!" I scream at him. "Get out!" I yell at him throwing my glass at him but missing hitting the wall and shattering. I feel tears streaming down my face as Abel goes into the elevator and leaves. After he leaves I decide to go out. I go to my room and look into the mirror seeing my mascara running down my face. I grab a makeup wipe and wipe it off, then reapplying it. I don't fucking need him. I think as I go to my closet and grab a short black skirt and crop top then doing my hair and grabbing one of my small purses and slipping on my high heels. I grab my Midas jacket, (the one in Lizzy Grant guys) and go into the elevator and go downstairs to my jaguar. I can't believe Chuck told him about last night, I didn't want anyone to know. I drive to a bar and look around, I knew he was going to be here, "Carmen?" I hear Francesco say from behind me. I smile and turn around to see him, "Hey, I haven't seen you in a while..." I say to him, "you wanna go do a few lines with me?" Fran asks me I smile and nod, following him upstairs. We sit down with some other guys and Fran looks at me expecting something. I roll my eyes and hand him a roll of 20s, "can I have fun now Fran?" I ask him. He smiles, "of course darling." he says smiling. I take out another $20 and roll it up. Tonight will be fun.

Carmen | Lana Del Rey x The Weekend |Read this story for FREE!