Retrace

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"Turned up in this old place again... Can't seem to get away." - Heavy Rope, Lights

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I was a ghost—pale, transparent, motionless.

I rode the rails like I was homeless. And... in a way I was. Ed had been that home, however slight, however meaningless our relationship was.

But I knew my place, and in time, I would find it again.

I kept to the rails, retracing past destinations. The conductor's voice my lullaby, transcending an empty head and a worthless mind.

[I was a ghost.]

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I stood at my gate, and memories came back. Just seeing the house again, everything came back.

And just like before, my hand rose to my lips, knuckles pressed against chapped skin.

This was where it all started... With them...

In my mind's eye, I saw Ed again. I saw him standing there, hands in the pockets of his coat. A light concern on his face; the first look he really gave me.

"Excuse me."

I turned, seeing a military official.

But...

His head tilted to the side, giving a silent question before his mouth asked a real one.

"Mirah Akkerman?"

I nodded, a little confused. And as much as it hurt, I confirmed the name as mine.

"Yes, that's me."

He handed me the phone, a cord running along to the pack attached to his back.

"State Alchemist Edward Elric is on the other line, ma'am."

...What?

I gradually reached out, taking the phone and twitching a smile in return. Ed? He was...?

I stood there as the phone came to my ear, a bit embarrassed that this guy was still standing here like that...

I shifted away, moving myself around as I listened to Ed's voice.

"Mirah?"

I straightened my back, attention on what I was hearing. My voice fell out in a whisper.

"Why are you calling?" I asked. I felt the tears breach, once again sentencing me to this property. Branding another painful memory into this house; a different person, a worse pain.

"You're upset." Ed commented softly. "I understand why you are. I know why. I'm sorry, Mirah. I am..."

There wasn't a lot I could reply with. I wanted to accept the apology, but something was holding me back. I just waited, allowing the silence to force Edward to speak again.

"I... I need you here..." he said. "We... Found out some stuff about what's going on with me... And at first it was just a bunch of hypotheses, but... After some testing we found out one of them seemed to be true. Took some work cracking it, though."

I blinked, taking in what he said before focusing downwards in thought. "What're you talking about? What hypotheses?"

I heard him sigh again, and I could almost see his hand running along one closed eye. "It'd be hard to explain over the phone. Just come to Ebolas, please? When you can?"

I could hear the desperation in his voice.

I nodded, even though he couldn't see it. "Okay." I paused, concerned. "Everything's okay right?"

"Yeah," Relief flooded his voice, "Everything's fine."

I sensed there was something else. Everything wouldn't really be fine if he was calling for me like this.

"I meant with whatever's going on." I clarified, the edge of my fingernail between my teeth.

"Oh." Ed paused. "Um... Well, that's kind of a different story, I guess." He laughed a little bit when he said that, and it just made my stomach clench a bit more.

"I'll be on the next train." I told him.

"Alright." he replied. "We'll be waiting at the station for you."

He waited for my confirmation, and after I gave him one, I expected him to hang up. He didn't, and a moment later I heard his voice on the other line again.

"And Mirah?"

My interest perked, even though he couldn't see it.

"I love you."

The phone clicked off before I could respond.

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When I stepped off the train, I only saw Ed there waiting for me. One hand in the pocket of his coat, the other holding the suitcase. So many memories came from just that simple pose, but they all fled when those smiling golden eyes fixed on mine.

I walked towards him. My hand was holding my other arm, an apprehension as I stopped a few feet away. What do I do now? He wasn't even putting down the suitcase; I felt like I couldn't even hug him.

"It's nice to see you again." I smiled.

That soft expression of love on his face just increased a little. Then suddenly, he pointed, taking the hand out of his pocket.

"WHAT'S THAT?!"

I turned to look, almost immediately feeling my face turned back by a hand on my chin. Ed's lips were pressed against mine, and I felt every ounce of tension leave me.

His touch pulled away all too soon, hand staying there to run along the side of my jaw with a thumb. His eyes opened again, and as they looked into mine, he spoke softly. A hushed voice he had only used during our nights together.

"I felt like it'd be better to surprise you."

My smile increased, and I couldn't fight the light blush that came to my face as I tilted my head, touching my forehead to his.

I heard his cackling through his wide grin, his fingers sliding to cup the line of my jaw. I raised a hand, holding his. My eyes opened again, seeing those golden eyes stare into mine. The bottoms curved with a gentle smile, a bit of pink touching his face.

I squeezed his hand a little more.

"I love you, too, Ed."

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Bright Lights - Matchbox Twenty

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