Leave A Scar (Fullmetal Alchemist)

Promise

The room was quiet, its brightness loud and causing a splitting headache. I stayed sitting on the edge of the bed, watching white bandage wrap around the newly-healing stab-wound. The first inflection I had caused myself... in a long time.

I didn't realize Ed had finished wrapping until he stayed still, forehead resting so gently atop the bandaged wound. I didn't know what to say, what to do in return. He didn't say anything either, his arm coming to embrace my leg, hooking around and allowing his hand to come to his shoulder. Fingertips barely touching the start of his arm. The place where scar split skin and metal.

Some kind of salute. He'd protect me, and keep on protecting me.

I wanted to reach out, physically reach out and tell him I didn't want him to. I wasn't worth it. Worth the energy, worth the effort. But as soon as my hand got halfway to his hair, as soon as I had really raised it up, his other hand came towards mine. Metal fingers brushing upwards along my palm in a loose fist, sending an electrifying chill down my arm, my spine. Just the contrast of the metal and the softness of his touch.

The ends of his fingers finally reached mine, and then his hand stretched for a single moment, curling down again, falling in between the spaces of my fingers. Pressing our palms together, holding tightly.

Another resolve. Another message that he wasn't letting me get hurt again.

I didn't know what to do. I felt my fingers, my hand, my wrist shake, tremble as I held his hand. Returning the same pressure. He didn't say anything, but I briefly felt how the arm around my leg curled a little bit more, holding me against him. With the same tenderness. Repeating the same promise he had just made.

I hated myself for crying. I hated the sound the tears made as they dropped to my skirt, landing next to the space besides Ed's ear. The front of the skirt, where the fabric pooled out. A perfect thing to catch all the reminders of my weakness.

He held my hand tighter, still so gentle with the pressure. But I felt how his fingertips shifted, metal raising up only to tap against the back of my palm. He didn't need to shift, his muscles were only in his other hand. So they couldn't have been strained or cramped; he shifted to let me know he could let go, but he wasn't. Like I was actually worth holding on to.

A sob escaped me before I could let it out. An awful sound, one my teeth tried to hold in but the power of it opened my mouth just enough to release the only sound I was actually capable of making. The only one I actually deserved.

I felt the pressure of Edward's forehead lift away from me. I looked down, seeing him look at me through blurry vision. Another wave of tears rolled out, clearing my eyesight just enough to see the tears lining the base of his. Muddling that gold color, giving him an emotion he didn't need to be feeling. One he shouldn't be. He needed to be out searching. Not stuck in here with me.

The door opened completely, no longer slightly ajar, and Al's voice rang clear enough to completely snap me back into reality.

"Okay, I got the water! Sorry it took so long! I'm pretty sure there was a cat outside, but it was lookin' pretty suspicious, so I wanted to double-check to see if it was a Homunculus or not!"

Ed had stood up long before the door had opened completely, and I'm sure his face was turned away from Al just like mine was. Hand quickly wiping below his eyes, but his fingers would be clean. Not wet, not damp like mine were. Dotted with thick drops that would only fall off my skin again. A cycle that just kept repeating... I was still staying out my sentence.

A wall cracked, splitting right down the middle. Al was still talking, completely unaware of what was happening. He usually was. Why couldn't I be like that?

I wasn't aware of Ed's voice until I heard his leg click. Weight shifting to one side, quietly talking to Al. Explaining something, but the words were just as blurry as my vision had been. I focused a bit harder, drawing in a silent breath and letting my emotions harden again. Building another wall, a layer that would go around the one that had just cracked. Another reinforcement.

"—best to keep an eye on things," Ed continued on, voice still so soft. Like he was still talking to me in some ways.

I didn't know what to do, but slowly I got my face cleaned up enough to finally turn back. Ed didn't look at me, continuing to lean his weight to one leg, hands in his pockets. Eyes on his brother, who nodded when he finished speaking whatever he was saying.

"Yeah, that makes sense," Al replied. He shook his head. "I know I keep saying this, but all of this is just so crazy, y'know? I hadn't even figured Homunculi could come back to life like this, or be made in such massive quantities..."

He searched the edge of the bed for a moment, stare sweeping to the middle of it before swinging out to me. Those lights curved in a smile.

"How's your leg doing," he asked, adding my name. I hadn't blocked the sound of it out that hard in a long while.

I swallowed, seeing Ed finally look down to me as I looked down to myself. Staring at the wound on my leg, still nicely wrapped from Ed's bandaging. No blood had leaked through the gauze, pushed through the tape, so I guess that was a "good" sign...

"I'm fine, Al," I smiled up at him, relieved that I could curve my eyes perfectly. "I'm sure this will heal in no time!"

"That's wonderful," Al exclaimed. "I'm really glad to hear that! Is there anything I could get you to make you feel better? I'm sorry we don't have any antiseptics or pain relievers..."

I stared a him for a moment, lost on why he would offer that to me, before quickly shaking my head. "N-no, it's alright! You don't have to worry about me!" I tried to smile, tried to give a big enough grin. A fake at reassurance, one of my worst disguises yet. "I'm really alright. Really just need to rest and I'll be good to go in no time!"

A flash; a memory of me being in a hospital, promising my first quick recovery. I was repeating myself, now...

Al nodded, accepting my answer completely. "Okay! Let me know if there's anything you need later on though, okay?"

I returned his nod, and suddenly he was struck with some kind of idea. One hand raising up, pointing to the ceiling before he mentioned something about baking and dashed off, out of the room again.

My stomach felt like it was in the desert. Completely dry and damaged, shriveled to the state of nonexistence.

I guess I'd spent the next hour or so building up enough strength to eat and act normal when I did so.

I didn't hear Ed cross the distance between us, and I barely felt his hand come to my chin. Fingertips lifting my face up enough for his lips to meet mine. My eyes stayed wide, brain reduced to a sputtering engine. Still trying to catch up, still stuck in the moments he'd wasted silently promising my protection and safety.

He moved away, just enough for his kiss to break and linger, his lips sweeping against mine. So gradually, and then that warmth left. Raising upwards, and my eyes closed to the heat of him as he straightened a little more, enough to press a kiss to my forehead. The hand still on my chin shifted, fingers lightly running beneath my jawline, his thumb reaching up and running down. Giving a single, loving stroke to my skin.

I barely felt the tears push out again, and when the contact of his lips drew away, it was enough to keep me perfectly unstable. Draw the tears back in, reseal the wall that had just begun cracking. A deeper one, more towards the center than the last hit had been. But it was still so far away from the middle of it all. A labyrinth that stretched on for miles. A castle that held no ruler, no queen or emperor. Just walls and darkness, a mansion with ghosts inside every wall.

And Ed... I knew he wanted to save me from every dark thought, every internal drop of blood. I knew that... and yet I couldn't save him from the inevitable realization of my own stupidity.

I couldn't save anything, but I kept thinking of that promise. That wordless salute he made.

I thought of it all until sleep found me in his embrace.