Queen of Nothing

Chapter 2

Rays of sunlight shatter my messed up dreams and I wake to the hard reality that I am exiled out of Faerie. With a grown I turn my back on the sunlight willing to go back into a sleep that will make this easier. But I know such dream does not exist. I must have nodded of again cause I wake to the muffled sound of sobbing. I sit up in my bed alert scanning the room. My door is still closed but the clock strikes 1am. Slowly I rise of the bed. My foot slips on some papers and I stumble like some crazy idiot into my chair. My toe hits my desk and the pain shots through my body my I hold my tongue. I pick up the knife on my desk form my dinner two days again and walk to the door as quietly as possible. I really should clean up all those papers on the floor they crackle beneath my feet. I open the door into the small hallway that connects all the rooms. All clear. "Vivi?" I call. The sobbing stops from a brief moment. Than I hear Vivi's broken voice say: "I thought you were still sleeping." With a sigh I lower my knife and follow Vivi's voice into the living room. Vivi is sitting on the cough and rubs her eyes with her sleep. She looks tired. "Have you been up all night?" I ask her as I cross the room to her. She shakes her head. "I nodded of at some point..." She notices the knife I'm still holding and frowns. "What do you plan to do with that?" I shrug. "I thought there might be trouble and being armed is always-" I trail of with a grimace. Vivi gives me a knowing look of pity. It stings to receive it. "You are always hunting for shadows Jude. You are not in Faerie anymore. You haven't been for almost 2 months."

"I know" The words strike deep in me and I feel the need to strike back. "So when are you accepting that Heather left you?" Vivi's expression instantly goes to hurt than just as fast to a steel mask. "You can't know that."

"It's been almost two months you just said it yourself." My sister looks like she wanted to add to my words but thinks better of it and shakes her head. "I'm going to get some more sleep before Oak comes home from school. It's your turn to pick him up." With that she leaves the room. And when I hear the sound of her room door closing I regret the words I said to her. I am destructive.

After I made myself breakfast I spend the better part of the day watching something on TV. What I can't even remember I was mostly staring blankly. My mind wandered other places. Like the dream I had. I had been sharing Cardan's bed after he married me. It started to feel like all of it had been a dream. I glance at the clock. 4am. Reluctantly I get up and wash and dress myself then take the apartment key and head out to pick up Oak. It is a fifteen minute walk to the school and on the way to the gym I visit whenever I feel like it. The gym offers fitness training by yourself or courses of different kinds. I take the two courses about fighting. Anything that can give me the feeling of some sort of power. Oak's school is next to the park. I walk through it more alertly than yesterday. I always feel like I am being watched here. I count the people. A man walking his german shepard. Two elderly woman sitting on a bench talking. A man leaning against a tree smoking. A woman and her husband helping their daughter onto a swing. None of them even notice me. Good. I don't want their attention. I reach the school gate five minutes later. Many parents are already waiting. I keep my distance. Oak knows where I will be no need to get into a conversation with anyone here. Some parents eye me warily. They probably think I'm strange. But I think the same of them. Thankfully Oak comes out of the building not long after I get there. He waves at me excited and I smile and wave back. He says goodbye to his friends and runs to me trapping me in a hug. "Can we get some food on the way home? I'm hungry!" I laugh a bit awkwardly. I have no money on me. "It's not that long of a way, we'll make something at home." Oak makes puppy eyes at me. "Please?" My smile wavers a bit as I shake me head. "Next time." He relents with a sigh. "You always say that.." I grimace. I had not been paying all that much attention to all the things around me for a long time. This seems to just another of those things. "Let's go home" I say as we start to walk through the park. And there the feeling was again. Eyes on me. I look around. The family is gone. The two woman are still sitting on the bench. The man and the dog are gone. I freeze. The man who was smoking in the shadow of a tree is looking right at me. He's wearing a dark long coat and a hat. I can not see his face. But his hand slides to something in his pocket. I grab Oak and ran. Oak protests but I don't care. My heart is pounding in my ears. I look over my shoulder only the see that the man is gone. I scan the area but don't find him. My pulse quickens. Not human. My instincts say. I run all the way home with Oak. When we get there I lock the door and call for Vivi. Who looks less than pleased to be woken until I explain everything to her. "Stay home, lock the door behind me. Don't open it for anyone but me." With that she's out the door to look for our would be fae stalker. I try to catch my breath and at the same time calm Oak. Who seems distorted by this incident. After ten minutes Vivi returns and shakes her head. Nothing. I don't know if I should be relieved or more afraid.