Loving Him...

...Was Cheap

"Angel?"

"Yes. Angel...Because you look like one." Forth said sincerely. "I promised myself after that morning. I won't sleep with you until I'm the only one occupying your mind."

Beam blinked several times. He felt disappointed because his subtle invitation was declined.

He felt cheap.

Just like when he begged his ex lover to come back to him after a few months of him leaving his life.

***
Less than two years ago...

Beam called his ex boyfriend's phone for the umpteenth time. He was desperate.

"Hello?" The other line answered.

Beam sniffled before responding. "Baby...please. Please see me one more time."

The other line clicked his tongue. "Beam. You have to stop doing this! I'm already married!"

His sniffles turned to sobs. "Baby...I still love you. Please come back to me."

"Shit, Beam. Get it together. Stop bothering me and move on!" The other line sounded irritated.

Beam clutched on his chest. He's been hurting and he didn't know what to do except to phone the person he still have feelings for.

"Why would you throw away four years for another person? I've loved you longer." Beam said desperately.

"It has nothing to do with how long, Beam. I love him. Now, stop fucking calling me!"

The line went dead as the other person ended the call on boss side.

***
Back to present...

Beam abruptly stood up and walked past the table, making the bottle of wine fall, spilling its contents on the concrete floors.

He went back inside his penthouse and carelessly dumped the wine glass in the kitchen sink. Forth followed him.

"Hey...did I say something wrong?" Forth asked the young host in worry.

Beam rubbed his temples after remembering the painful memory. He headed to the living room and slumped his body against the back rest.

Forth invited himself to sit in the couch opposite the young doctor.

"No. No. You didn't say anything wrong. It's just me." Beam stared back to his guest sitting in front of him.

"Look, you've been really sweet and I appreciate your efforts these past two months. I told you before, I didn't want you to keep going. You'll just get disappointed."

Forth looked back intently. "Me? Or you, Beam."

"What?"

"Were you disappointed that I said I wouldn't have sex with you until I became your only one?" Forth stood up and knelt in front of Beam.

"Wh- No..it's not that..."

Forth carefully touched and held Beam's hands on his lap. He looked into his eyes. The black orbs that sparkled whenever he greets him gold morning. Yet from afar, they looked always sad.

Used to. Used to always look sad.

"Beam...that morning I made love to you was the happiest day of my life..." Forth began to confess.

Beam pursed his lips. He didn't now what to say. This intruder in his heart hadn't only broken his daily boring routine but also the trails of his thoughts. His once dark thoughts.