-you were cleaning together and you didn't see the spiderweb in front of you
-you walked into it and shrieked
"Oh fuck no I'm not spider fucking man."
-he was shOOk and smirking like crazy
"Is it bad that I think that was kinda hot?"
-you were on your phone and it died out of nowhere
-he jerked his head up
"If I'm being honest I held that in for a long time. Glad we got that out of the way!"
-you stubbed your PINKY toe
"SON OF A BITCH FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK FUCK"
-sis he was rolling he couldn't stop laughing
"Are you okay?"
"I'm just dying here."
-you were eating out and you ate the food while it was still too hot
-you spit it out in a napkin (manners now!)
"Oh my shit that was hot."
"Oh my shit?"