My lord and his mistress

Chapter 8

" Joshua... you know he wasn't... It wasn't like that." J'aime argued.

" Than tell me... what was it like?" She sighed exasperated.

" I don't get you. What right do you have to be upset?" I whispered. She was mad nonetheless.

" Why are taking this so seriously?" She groaned. I never answered her.

" Sorry. You're not staying here. I can run the estate on my own. I can also run the business. You can leave with Romeo." I whispered.

" What? You're kicking me out?!" She screeched.

" I'll give you both 24 hrs." I had become cold. I no longer had her love and she didn't have mine. I kept a bag with my personal things in Bella's room. So she could never try anything.  

I stayed in my room as he told me. He told me nightfall would come and he would be here. I said yes to him. I didn't understand anything anymore. I still felt a strangeness about what was happening. What would happen between the two of us? I hoped he was certain about this. If he didn't really want me, he could tell me. I had always crushed and imagined. Never did I ever think things would turn out this way. I sat on my bed, trying to sort my thoughts. I couldn't tell if he was serious about this. I could hear screaming outside my door and down the hall. He told me to stay put and I locked my bedroom door. I crawled into my bathroom and locked the door once more. My room was at a corner so my bathroom was far on the left wall. I sat there and rocked myself back and forth to keep myself sane. I sighed and rolled into a little ball. I heard banging at my door but never moved. I barely even breathed. A few minutes later, it stopped. I only sighed ever so lightly. I waited on the floor until night fall. I ate snacks that I had stashed in my closet. And had my blanket so I didn't get cold. I shivered just a little but It had stopped when I fell asleep. I had a lucid nightmare. I walked along a small trail. As I walked farther and farther, the sky seemed to glitter black. There were no stars and no moon. I  grew worried. I couldn't see anything. I felt bodies touch me. They were black and looked like liquid but they took form around me and drowned me in their pool of black goo. I screamed for air but I kept sinking. I cried and begged, but it was all useless. I saw one of the creatures dunk my head under. I woke up a shivering mess. I heard a lighter knock at my door. I slowly tiptoed out the bathroom.

" Who's there?" I whispered.

" It's me, Joshua." He whispered back. I opened the door and he slid in the room. His hair looked fine, like he had dressed up just to come to my bedroom.

" I sent them all away." He said.

" Huh?"

" I sent the maids away." He whispered. He sat in the chair at the end of the room. I dragged my blanket with me into his lap.

" I was serious. If you want to sever our involvement, you should do it while you still can." He breathed into my hair.

" What do you mean?"

" I'm a monster, Bella." He whispered. I couldn't understand his words at all.

" I don't care. I feel safer with you, monster or no." I whispered. I lie in his arms, wrapped in my blanket.

" Shouldn't that scare you?"

" Than... you're my monster. I don't care." I was afraid of course. But I was afraid he would use that as an excuse to leave me. I couldn't risk that.

" Look at me, Bella." He whispered. I looked up at his elegant features. I sighed and straddled him. I lightly pushed his tense shoulders back. He lie back in the chair, assessing me. My lips swooped down to meet his. My lips were met with the warmth of his own. He kissed back, but I knew he was hesitant.

" If you're a real danger to me... I want you to love me until you tear my body apart. If this was the last night I would ever get to see you...  I don't think I could do any of this if it was anybody else." I whispered. His face softened.

" Tell me you haven't gone mad. You know we can't stay together." He whispered in pure concern. I saw pain behind his warm eyes.

" I don't care... I want you as you are." I chuckled, moving my hair away from my face. I kissed him once more and dragged my hand across his face, feeling his smooth jaw.

" I'm serious... you're not safe." He said, his voice raising. I didn't care and still expressed how much I absolutely loved him. I hadn't realized he wasn't just a lord. He... he...

" Are you implying what I think you are?" I whispered.

" Mmm... if you tell me what you're thinking." He murmured stiffly. I sighed.

" Are you a drug lord?"

" Well... yes." He said blankly. I nodded, pushing my hair behind my ear. I sighed.

" So this is why...?"

" Yes. I can't have you and be a drug lord at the same time. Things will get complicated. I want to... send you back home." He whispered, almost mute. My brain could no longer work. What did he want to do?"

" I'm sending you back to America in the morning." He whispered. I tried to hide how bad that made me feel.

" I thought this would happen. So I bought you a nice place in Connecticut." My voice also stopped working. I moved closer to him. I hugged him dearly.

" Don't send me away please." I whispered. My chest tightened.

" You will walk away from this clean." He almost growled.

" No. I... you can't just admit how you feel about me and send me away as you please! Don't do this." I whispered, tears streaming down my eyes.  He wiped them away. He considered for a moment.

" If... if you really will send me away... I want you to bed me tonight." I whispered. His eyes widened, clearly wanting to say no.

" Please." I whispered. He could not refuse me. But that did not matter. Because he didn't.