snappy

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"Hey" I give Ruel a faded smile. "What's up?" he asks getting all worried, which warms my heart.

"I need to tell you something" I blurt out, to give myself no way out of the confrontation, I know I'll face.

"What?" he looked worried before, but now he sure as hell look like he's about to shit his very nice striped pants.

"I'd rather do it in person" I mumble not being able to look him in the eyes, "I miss you" I then add,

"I miss you too, I'm actually heading to the airport now" he smiles.

"Yes" I do a little dance cheering. His laugh fills my room. "When I get back would you maybe like to go on a date?" he asks taking his hand through his hair.

"Maybe" I shrug.

"What?" his eyeballs almost pop out of their sockets at my answer, which makes me laugh. "Of course you dummy" I laugh even louder.

"Good" he breaths keeping his hand on top of his chest, where his heart is located. I just give him a small smile, not liking what I need to tell him, when he gets here.

The guy just asked me on a date, how in the world can I tell him I kissed another guy?

I'm such a bad person, my smile falters at my thoughts, once it really hits me, that maybe Ruel would never talk to me ever again, after I tell him.

"Are you alright?" he asks, making me shake my head to get out of my head, and back to reality.

"Yeah, yeah I'm good, I'm good" I repeat my words a few times, to tell myself that I'm good. Ruel just smiled at me.

"But I'll see you when I get back" he says.

"Of course" I smile. He waves and ends the call, leaving me with a bad feeling in my stomach. I can't tell him, it'll make him leave me.

"But I have to" I say out loud.

"Have to what?" Matthew asks as he walks by my door, hearing me talking to myself. "Tell Ruel" I shake at the thought.

"Hey it'll be fine" he assures me.

"It's easy for you to say" I snap at him. "Sorry" I hurry to apologize. "I didn't mean it like that" I add holding my hands to my face.

"I just feel like such a jerk" I sigh. 


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