Chapter I "Monday Happened"

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Monday

My mother always said; Never start at the beginning of a story.

People tend to get bored.

The middle is the best bet.

All the introductions have been made, the plot established, a few jokes thrown in to lighten the mood. The story has life.


So here goes...my middle

Life had it out for me. Things went sideways pretty fast. No job...No husband...No house and no money

That's a lot of NOs, right?

I probably did something extremely bull-shitty bad in a past life. Karma is a bitch and she has me dead in her sights.


Name's Beth, short for Isabetha. Always hated that name. Mother only called me "Isabetha" when I was in trouble. And I was always in trouble, but I digress.


Today is Monday, I despised Mondays.

So here I am standing in the center of the shit-storm of my life.

1. No Job...Henrietta Salvatore; Software Architect for the city's major Software Company; Microcom Solutions has had a boner for me since day one. Remember Miranda Priestly from The Devil Wears Prada? Well, she is a fucking angel; farting rainbows compared to Henrietta.

Four Years, Eight Months, Three Weeks and One Day, yes, I counted; of pure unadulterated hell of being her Personal Assistant; came crashing down at exactly 9:30 am. Fired! She actually fired, me!!! Why? Brian "The Douche" Farlane. She wanted him and being the anal-retentive bitch she clearly is thought she just had to snap her fingers and the world fell to her feet.

He didn't

I thought he was my friend; he had other ideas. By the time the screaming was over, I found out that I was having an affair with Brian! For the past two months! He had the nerve! One stupid Friday we went out for a drink, ONE drink and he thinks that is an affair!?! The nerve of that man...if I see his bald ass!

Bethy girl, just pack up your shit and go....

"Hey an email from Stephen, my darling Stephen....what pleasures!"


2. No Husband...the ring on my finger, feels like a millstone around my neck. Dragging me down into the quicksand of my life, Stephen has left me for a freaking gym instructor! No ladies, not a barbie princess, health conscious (my idea of exercise; watching tennis on TV), model thin heifer, but a dude! Yeah! Name's Maximilian. Who name's their kid Maximilian? Full name: Maximilian Jeffrey Louis Peck the Fourth! Yeah, there's actually four of them!

Stephen dumped me via email, a whole new low. Fucking dumped through an email! Five years of lies! Five years!! What was this shit about he found real love...real...love? My love wasn't real enough? What was I doing, faking it? Jesus, Mary and Joseph, put a helping hand (Dee Dee, my parents' housekeeper had truly influenced me)

I gave up College for this!!!


3. No house...My key didn't fit the front door lock. The jackass changed the locks? Really!?! I didn't even get a damn consolation prize! This shitty two bedroom hovel disguised as a house, he even takes this from me! I stand there, keys dangling from my numb fingers, homeless....

And then came the last nail in the coffin.....At least I had some money to tie me over until I can find other job. Punching the code....reaching for the slip......looking down at the paper that burns a hole in my soul...there is forty dollars in our joint checking account...he had cleaned ME out! Yeah ME! I was the one with the God damn job! Sixteen thousand dollars, gone. Poof! Up in smoke. I had clawed and scraped, going without; silver ahem, platinum spoon born, here babies! (that shit was fucking hard!-going without) to build a better life for US and that dick wad took it and left ME forty dollars! ME, Isabetha Marie Hernandez-Steel, forty fucking dollars!.....NO MONEY!!

He has lived up to his name....Steal, he has taken everything from me. Stephen has dumped me, he has thrown me away like yesterday's garbage.

It was the day I got drunk and got my first red butterfly tattoo

I hate Mondays.

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