Chapter 37

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(In case you guys didn't already know every time there's a "-" separating paragraphs, that represents a time jump forward)

- Joe's POV -

I really didn't want to have to stay in the apartment when Caspar got back. I knew it would just be awkward and stuffy. Caspar didn't need to worry about him and I. The pregnancy was more important. I wrote a note, saying I was going to stay at a hotel for a couple nights so he would be able to sort things out with Gaby without me possibly getting in the way.

The first thing I noticed about the hotel was the bright green doors. I almost laughed.

I got the key to my room, which was 342. I rode the elevator to the third floor, went down the right hall several rooms down before reaching mine. I couldn't help but wonder what Caspar was doing right now. Was he still with Gaby? What if he falls back in love with her? Will he even realize I'm not in the apartment? Or will he start staying with Gaby? I wanted to clear my mind but Caspar was where all my thoughts redirected to.

I googled ways to clear my mind but none of them had good solutions.

I started typing questions on twitter when I realized it might cause unneeded drama. I made a yahoo account with a fake name and went to yahoo answers.

My best friend and I are in love with each other. He just found out that an ex of his is pregnant. I feel lost and insecure, and lonely without him. But I know ill just get in the way if I continue to talk to him. How can I get rid of these sad feelings?

I finished typing and submitted the question. Answers were given minutes later.

Doug- You shouldn't have fallen for your best friend. Find a new relationship. That one isn't gonna work.

Mary- I think you should go to therapy, or some support group. It can help you talk about and sort out your feelings. They aren't going to go away on their own. Good luck.

Teona- Find out if they're going to have the baby because if they are he's going to have to be with his ex a lot and that could put you in an awkward position.

I stared at Mary's words, "They aren't going to go away on their own."

Recently I had completely and unknowingly always kind of relied on Caspar to fix me. Even if I didn't want his help, he always saved me. I was more pathetic than I thought.

I tapped my chin. Support group, huh? It might be nice to relieve my problems while hearing other people talk about their problems as well. I googled support groups in the area, and sent a message to one of the leaders. They replied right away, telling me the address and that I could come tomorrow at 11 in the morning.


I looked at the clock. 9am. Two more hours until support group started. I got dressed, did my hair and went downstairs to the breakfast area. Someone was wearing the same shirt Caspar had. My heart stung. I grabbed a bagel and raced back to the elevator. I didn't want to see Caspar's shirt. Even though I knew it wasn't Caspar.

By the time I had eaten and watched some television it was already 10:30. I left.


The room for support group was small, but really bright looking. The walls were all white, the chairs were all white, the leader wore all white. I stepped in, and immediately regretted coming. Every other person in the room looked to be over 40.

"Welcome, Joe!" The leader stood. Shit. Now I wouldn't be able to leave.

"Ah, Hi." I said, before finding an empty seat and sitting in it.

He Loves Me... Not? || Jaspar Fanfic (Caspar lee x Joe Sugg)Read this story for FREE!