Chapter 13

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The one thing that I hated most about living in Washington was how bad the traffic was. The weather was something that I had always here and something that most people always hated. It was the traffic though that would literally drive me insane, which is why I chose to live in the middle of the city even if it was more expensive. Living in the middle of the city close to work, shops, and everything else I went to on a daily basis meant that I could walk and avoid the frustration of just sitting behind the wheel of a car not moving. 

I couldn't help but let out a loud groan and hit my head against my steering wheel. If I needed to remind myself as to why I would never want to live more than 10 minutes away from work, this was it. 

Luckily Jules wasn't that far away but I had around 10 minutes of traffic before I would pull into her office. So this time although I felt was perfectly wasted gave me the perfect opportunity to organize my thoughts. First and most recent was the issue with Theo. I had no idea what the hell his problem was, and the fact that I could have judged him based off being in a motorcycle club. I knew though that despite his judgements and his criticisms towards me that that wasn't my problem but his. 

I honestly felt like I was developing a connection with Miles and I didn't want to lose the only parent I had left at this point. I wanted to further discover what our relationship could be if it would be like the one I actually had with my parents, if it would be more of a friendship or acquaintanceship that I felt we had right now. I just didn't want to let Theo ruin whatever it could be. 

The next thought I had was one that I had been avoiding thinking about. Ben. Marriage. He didn't necessarily say that he would be proposing within the next few weeks or months, but it was the talk of us being together and starting to think of moving in that pointed to marriage. He had always understood that I wanted to focus on my career, and he supported it, hell he even pushed me to further my career. 

I knew that he had been wanting to push our relationship further for a while now. The guy fucking waited until I was done with law school so I would be in a monogamous relationship with him. I mean, who does that? And when a guy does that for you, aren't you supposed to be head over heels, madly, deeply in love with that guy? 

A part of me felt broken that although I loved Ben, I didn't feel like I was in love with him. The thought of being married to him and tied to him scared the hell out of me. I think that Ben just believed that I was terrified of the idea of marriage in general and I guess that was true. I couldn't imagine myself ever being tied to anyone for the rest of my life, and if I was going to get married, I wanted it to be for forever. 

I had made promises to Ben though. He wasn't going to try and pressure me into furthering the commitment of our relationship, but he wanted me to try. He wanted me to think more about our lives together. Think about us moving in together even as a trial run as he had put it. I wouldn't have to give up my apartment but he wanted me to think about staying more at his place and moving a few more things over. Gradually. 

I was grateful for when I saw the big grey building where Jules's office would be held in and as soon as I could I pulled into the parking lot and parked. 

I didn't go to Jules's work often, since I had my own job, and we both led busy lives during the daytime. I had been here only a few times before but I was able to navigate my surroundings until I found her office. 

I gave a gentle knock and when I didn't hear anything I opened the door softly peaking my head in. I was greeted with the charming smile of my best friend as she held her corded phone up to her ear and with her other hand motioned for me to come in. 

Jules had a nice office, it was small, but comfortable. She could have had a larger desk but instead opted for something more minimal so she could have a bookshelf filled with childrens picture and chapter books and a nice couch that pulled out into a small bed. 

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