Chapter 36

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PLAYLIST: Chance the rapper- Cocoa Butter kisses (TBH I'm not usually a fan of rap, but Chance's flow is so smooth sounding I can't even), This Century- Slow Dance Night

- Caspar's POV -

"My sleeping beauty needs a kiss," Katie teased. I forced a small laugh.

But before I knew it her lips lowered down to contact with Joe's. My Joe's. I was about to literally shove her off, when Joe's eyes opened.

"JOE!" He said nothing. He was just staring at Katie before he wrapped his arms around her. The air around me seemed to still. It wouldn't let me breath. I was dying.

Joe hadn't regained his memories. It was over. It was all over.

"Katie," he whispered. I couldn't listen anymore. I stood to leave, my eyes red from trying to push back tears. "I'm sorry but the Joe that fell in love with you isn't coming back." I snapped back down to sitting, had I heard Joe right? "When I lost my memories, a different Joe took over my body. He couldn't hear or see me but I saw everything he did and heard all his thoughts. He fought for you. He wanted my body to keep living with you. But when you kissed him, it was you who wasn't in love with him. The lack of love shot me free. I hope you can find someone great knowing that the other Joe wasn't meant for you anyway."

"W-what about you? The other Joe wasn't my match but what about you?" Katie asked, her face completely red.

I waited for Joe to say my name. To say he was in love with me so she can go fuck off.

"I'm gay." Was Joe's response. Although I was happy he rejected her, I wished he had mentioned my name.

Katie's mouth shriveled small in... Anger? Embarrassment? Either way her eye twitched slightly before she stormed silently out of the door.

"Caspar," he turned to me, his face fell with complete emotion before his arms flung around me, "You don't understand how badly I wanted to reply to your texts. To fight the other Joe. To tell you not to worry. But I wasn't strong enough. The reason you cut your skin was because of me." His finger pointed towards my arm, he knew, "Our love together through one single kiss broke me free from an unreadable barrier."

"Our kisses are fucking magic." I said lightly pressing my forehead to kiss. His warmth comforting.

His fingers reached for my bandages. He ripped them all off so fierce yet gently that I didn't feel the pain. I didn't want to look down. I didn't want to see what I had done.

"Oh my God, Caspar." His eyes widened.

"I know, I'm disgusting."

"No. No you're anything but disgusting. I just. I hate that I was the one who caused you all this pain," his eyes met mine, I had never seen them turn so deep with sadness. He lifted his arm to his face, then proceeded to bend his face down. He kissed each one of the scars.

"Our kisses are magic. So I want all these scars to heal, and to never be replaced with new ones. Because your skin is perfect. I never want you to damage yourself again." He repeatedly kissed each scar over and over. I could almost feel the sadness in his kisses push through my scars straight to my heart and mind.

"What if I don't want to?" I could barely hear the words myself.

"What?" Joe asked, lightly dropping my arm.

"What if I-" I said, a little louder.

"I heard you."

"What if I don't want to stop. It's. It's the one thing that heals me." I said, avoiding eye contact.

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