Long Gone; l.s.

Prologue

August 28th, 2017; the day that will forever be stuck in my head. It was the day that I found out I was pregnant and in nine months would be having a little baby. Now, you might be thinking, oh well that's normal congrats! Well there are two reasons it isn't normal, one my boyfriend and I always use protection and two, I'm a freaking guy! I stared at the doctor, she was writing out a prescription for me and printing out different papers.

"Okay, love, now remember that there are always different options. But for now, go get this filled it should help with the nausea and also pick up some prenatal vitamins." She said her goodbyes before leaving the room. I walked back out to the receptionist and scheduled another appointment, I can't let Louis know.

When I got back to our home in London I kicked my shoes off and rushed into the kitchen where I could here my boyfriend. I leaned against the doorway and stared at him as he danced around with a spatula in hand, a smile on my face. "Nice moves you got there, Tommo." That made him jump practically five feet in the air and spin around to face me.

"Hazza! How did your appointment go?" He walked over to me, placing a kiss on my cheek. "Good, just a little stomach bug. Whatcha cookin?" He grinned widely and motioned me over to the stove. "Grilled cheese, and look! I didn't burn it." I smiled at him and placed a kiss on the side of his head.

"I'm so proud of you, bear." I watched as he flipped the grilled cheese again before turning to face me. "So, I have to go to LA for a bit, some stunt bullshit I think. All I know is that I leave tomorrow and won't be back until next week. You don't have anything to do right?" I shook my head and he smiled widely.

"Great! So I won't have to lug Cliff's fat arse to the US again." We both laughed as Cliff looked up at the mention of his name before huffing and laying back down. "Oi, get over here you oaf." Louis yelled and Cliff wasted no time jumping up and running the short distance to Louis and I, practically knocking him over. "Mate, you gotta calm down yeah? Maybe daddy will take you for a walk later." Clifford looked at me and then Louis before jumping around wildly causing Louis to groan.

"You just had to say the 'w' word, huh?" I grinned widely at him while he transferred his sandwich onto a plate.
-
The next day when Louis left for LA I set to packing and looking at houses in Edinburgh. I wanted to leave while Louis was gone, that way it was easy. No I wasn't going to leave Cliff alone, I was planning on dropping him off at Lottie's.

It took me all day to pack all of my clothes and personal belongings, as well as some pictures of Louis and I together. I also managed to call Jeff, my manager, and end our contract early. I convinced him to give all the money earned from my name to Louis.

Just as I ended my call with Jeff, a call from Louis came in causing a sad smile to place itself on my face. But I didn't waist any time in answering.

"Baby! Hi! We landed and I'm actually really nervous cause Briana doesn't like me and she always talks shit about me to me. How was your day?" I felt a tear slide down my face. I'm going to miss him. But I'm doing what's best for the both of us and our unborn baby.

"It, uhm, it was good. Spent the day with Cliff. Uhm, I love you. A lot okay? Never ever ever forget that."

"I love you too, H. What's wrong? Did something happen?" I quickly reassured him nothing was wrong and that I just loved him a lot. I hated lying to him.

"Okay, baby, I've gotta go. I'll see you next week. Sending kisses, love you." I mumbled a love you too before hanging up. Once I did I decided it was time for bed.
-
I never realized how tiring driving could be, but when your car is packed full of boxes, you have to make three different pit stops, and the drive is all the way across the country and a total of eight hours, it's exhausting. The pit stops I made were to my bank in London to withdraw all of my money after cancelling my account, which hot damn I didn't think they actually gave you the money bags. But I guess it was only logical. The second stop was to Lottie's to drop off Clifford, and the third was to the phone company to get a new phone with a new number and a new plan.

I kept the old phone but ended my plan, I just wanted something so I could have all of mine and Louis' pictures still.

When I finally reached my mums house in Edinburgh I realized exactly what I was doing. I was leaving my life behind, everything I've known and loved for the back several years just gone. Deep down I knew it was the right decision though. So with that in mind I climbed from my Range Rover, leaving everything inside still, and walked up to the front door. My mum moved here about two years ago, we kept our old home in Cheshire but this was just something she felt that she needed, and boy am I glad now.

I knocked tentatively on the door and stood there for a total of forty seconds before it was ripped open and my mum was standing there, a smile on her face.

"Hazza! Baby, come in! What are you doing here?" I didn't answer my mum, instead I wrapped her in a hug and began to sob into her shoulder. But she waisted no time and held me, letting me cry. "Mumma, I left. I can't go back. He ca-can't know I'm here."