Meant to Bea

CHAPTER TWENTY

The weeks went by quickly. Too quickly, Bianca thought, as she held her sister's missive in her hands —Carla would be returning to Camden in a week.

Displeased, Bianca carefully folded the note, and placed it on the dresser before her. She was far from happy about the news of Carla's pending return, and what was even worse, was the fact that Carla had failed to mention whether or not she had succeeded in finding a suitable husband. Bianca knew she needed to trust Race, but she did not trust her sister to refrain from trying to seduce Race. And she... Well, she would be unable to keep a watchful eye on the two of them, especially now that she was pregnant.

Her eyes gently shifted down her image in the mirror, and settled on her flat stomach. Slightly placing her hands on her stomach so that her fingers barely brushed the soft fabric of her dress, she let out a soft sigh. She was pregnant, for however long, she was not exactly sure. Although she had been experiencing some discomforts in her stomach, she had thought nothing of it. She had instead been too busy thinking of ways to help Race gain the respect of the ton. Perhaps not even respect —for she doubted they would respect a bastard— but at least a way to make them give him the benefit of the doubt. She had thought of various ways to try to gain their attention —perhaps she must pay them a curtsey visit? Perhaps she must invite them over for dinner, or luncheon? Nothing seemed sufficient.

It was only the morning before that she concluded she was pregnant. She had been standing before the vanity, with the maid helping her into her dress, when she all of a sudden felt dizzy. Slightly confused, she had barely warded the maid's hands off, and settled on the chair, when what was left of her dinner from the night before, came spewing out of her mouth.

Even now, as she stared at her image in the mirror, she thought her breasts seemed bigger. Still, she imagined she could be wrong, for she hadn't missed her monthly flow the month before. Perhaps she had only thrown up because her stomach did not approve of the soup she had that evening?

She decided then that she would wait until the end of the month to confirm whether or not she was indeed with child, before breaking the news to Race. She did not think she could bear the thought of raising his hopes up, and then letting him down, for she knew how hard her last miscarriage had been; while she hadn't given herself the chance to grieve, Race had been affected greatly by the loss of the child.

Bianca settled a silver necklace on her neck, before rising to her feet, and making her way out of the room. She imagined Race would be on the breakfast table by now, no doubt waiting for her. She heard him every morning when he woke up before the day broke and snuck down to his study. He would then stay there, working tirelessly to try to maximize profits from the business; he was afraid of failing.

A small frown tugged on the edges of her brows as she made her way down the stairs. Race had made it very clear that he would not take her advice of moving back to Bath, and while she hated how stubborn he was being, she understood his desperation not to fail, and have all of England laugh in his face.

She entered the dining room, surprised to find Race missing.

"Where is my husband?" She asked the maid who was setting the breakfast table.

"I believe in his study, Mrs. Belington." She curtsied.

Bianca's frown deepened. She turned from the dining room, and took the short hallway down to Race's study. He was indeed there, with his head on the desk before him.

She heard his soft snores as she approached. He had fallen asleep on a pile of paper.

Leaning down, she combed her fingers through his hair. "Race?" She whispered, kissing his head.