Chapter 4

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Ella's POV:

On the drive home I couldn't get what just happened out of my head. I also can't stop thinking about what he said "Today was only the start." What does that mean? Does he want to hangout with me again?

Still I can't believe I just hung out with a boy all by myself without having an anxiety attack. I also lied to my mom about where I was going. Well technically it was only a partial lie I did hangout with a friend if I can call him that yet. That was my first time skipping school to without having a appointment or anything. Hopefully my mom doesn't find out because I don't want to have to explain why I skipped.

I pull into the driveway, grab my bag and head into the house. When I open the door my mom is sitting at the dining room table having a cup of coffee. My mom drinks coffee like it's water.

She looks at me when I step into the house.  My clothes are little bit damp from swimming but it's not to noticeable.

"Where have you been? I texted you like a hundred times. I know you don't like to hangout after school Ella." my mom eyes me suspiciously.

Of course my mom knows I don't like to hangout. I haven't been on my phone since I last texted her. I should have told her I had to finish a school project but it didn't cross my mind at the time.

"I know I haven't been on my phone. I texted you and told you I was going to a friends house. We had to finish a project because it's due tomorrow. I didn't go because I wanted to, I went because I had to." I say hoping she will believe the lie.

She looks me over and accesses what I said and then she nods her head. Good she believes me. Thank goodness she didn't notice my clothes were a little bit damp because I wouldn't know what to tell her.

Setting my bag down I head up stairs wanting to take a shower and get out of these wet clothes.

I walk into the bathroom and start the shower so it heats up while I go get some pajamas. In the shower I wash my hair and body. After I'm done cleaning myself, I stand under the warm water and think about Declan and that place.

This isn't me I don't usually think about boys. I don't want to get close to someone and then lose them. Sometimes I wish I could just go back and fix things. My mom thinks I need to talk to someone. She's says I'm to hard on myself even though I can see the pain in her eyes.

I need to stop thinking those thoughts, I hate thinking about it. So I keep them buried and try my best to block them out.

I step out of the shower after about thirty minutes. It's like a sauna in here, the mirror is all fogged up along with the rest of the bathroom. I'm surprised my mom didn't come knocking on the door telling me to get out.

I braid my hair so I can have a decent hair day tomorrow and brush my teeth. Now it's time for Netflix.
On my way to school I decide to stop and get a coffee. I didn't really get much sleep last night. I couldn't stop thinking about Declan's forest green eyes, and his perfect soft curls.

I tried so many times to stop thinking about him but I couldn't. Every time I tried to pay attention to the show I was watching, my thoughts would just drift off to Declan again. So I gave up and just laid on my bed and let my my mind wonder about him.

When I arrive at school I do my normal routine but quicker. I want to be able to walk with Olivia and avoid Declan as much as possible. Not because I don't like him but I want to be able to think clearly. How could I not like him, he's been nothing but kind to me. But when he's around my mind goes fuzzy.

When I'm done getting my binders, I quickly skim the hall to make sure the coast is clear and after start walking with my head down to meet Olivia at the front entrance. When I get to my usual corner I take out my phone and wait for Olivia to arrive.

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