Save Me ; Yoonmin ✅

26

(((Yoongi's pov)))

I was sitting alone in his hotel room fidgeting my fingers. Jimin was being kept unconscious for the rest of the day as they do tests on him since he had lost a lot of blood.

It was hard for me to leave him like that in the hospital, but the hospital staff had kindly asked us to leave so they could do their job. I haven't said a word since I have spoken with Jin at the hospital. I just can't.

It's all my fault. Why didn't I throw out the razor blades? He would still be here, in the hotel room, probably giggling or doing other adorable things.

What if he dies? What if I never get to hear his giggle again? I'll never see the cute eye smile again. I can never feel his small hand squeezing mine as we hold hands. He would never fall asleep on my chest again.

I held my knees up to my chest and let out an ugly sob. I felt scared and guilty.

How was I such a bad boyfriend. I'm so shit. I'm officially the worst.

My phone buzzed and lit up which made me look over to the device and read the notification on my screen.

Your Hope:

Hey, you doing okay? X

Read 5:24pm

I ignored it as I kept crying. I never understood how people experienced physical pain over sadness but now I do. I need to numb the pain. I can't do this.

I felt a panic attack coming up and I put my hands in my hair as I laid down.

You're shit.

You don't deserve him.

You fucked it up for him.

"No, no, no, no." I whispered with a hoarse voice with tears streaming down my face. I stood up and shakily took my cigarettes out of my coat pocket and opened the window.

I lit one with shaking hands and took some drags as I felt my throat close up due to panic. I walked inside with my cigarette still in my mouth, not giving a shit about the rules anymore.

My panic turned to anger. Anger at myself. My thoughts were all right. I did fuck it up, I don't deserve him, and I am indeed shit.

I opened the fridge aggressively and got some of the hotel beers out and set them on the nightstand and opened one of them. I took the cigarette out of my mouth and chugged the whole thing, struggling for breaths after, but damn that felt good.

I took another drag of my cigarette and blew out the smoke into the hotel room. I studied the shapes the smoke made with the slight wind from the open window. I already felt a bit calmer.

Alcohol is the best.

So, I opened another one, and another, and maybe a few others.

I saw kind of blurry and I grabbed my phone remembering Hobi texted me. I opened the chat.

Your Hope:

Hey, you doing okay? X

Read 5:24pm

Yoongi? You sleeping?

Read 6:10pm

You:

Im fune don't worft

Delivered 6:15pm

Fome*