Chemicals

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I found love with the chemicals
You were my chemical you Ryan Beaumont were the chemical of my life. My love, my world, my drug. I needed you to breathe to live even
I used to pray for a miracle, but now
I know that it's all over
I use to imagine what it would feel like being in love. You were what it felt like, holding you in my arms was a miracle. Feeling those soft pale pink lips touch mine was my miracle. But now it's all gone
We used to sit by the waterside
I kiss your cheek and say "You're mine"
Our spot, the place I asked you to be mine forever, I asked you to love me til last your dying breathe. That you did we were lovers til the end
But now I know it's over
And all these little things,
They start to slip away,
You are gone and every little thing about you is disappearing. The tall frame standing beside the door is now transparent, your messy hair in the morning isn't there. That goddamn smile is gone. Everything I've known of you is gone, my love gone, my heart left my body aching with you gone
And all these little things start to fade away
Fading as you leave me...
And you said
"Hold me, I'm falling apart
'cause I'm scared and lost in the dark
And this feeling surely can not last"
I got scared easily, I remember you holding me all night making sure those bad dreams were gone. No one could get to us when we were together. Falling apart in your arms red puffy eyes and tear stained cheeks. This feeling was gone once I reached your arms. Now my safe haven is gone
So I took it away,
I took it away
Away from you,
You took away the pain that I felt. Always making those bad thoughts disappear. Until you were taken from me and all I'm left I'm with is bad thoughts
I held your hand but you let it go
And I knew your heart had found a home
You gave up on me and found someone better. You left me for her, you left me for a girl. I loved you and you didn't even think twice.
Now I know it's over
I flew it out into the sky
Tryna run from this mountain I couldn't climb
I tried so hard to make this relationship work and you gave up. It got too hard so you went out and found someone to take the pain away. I'm sorry it's my fault isn't it.
'cause I knew I'd fall over
We fell apart our relationship was over...
And we were making plans and breaking dreams
When you were next to me
When we were together it was us against the world ryan it was never me against you. Except for that last night...
It's 3 AM in the back of a cab
And I am begging on my knees
"Don't go, won't you stay?
I can't stand to watch you walk away from me"
I tried to make you stay but you left me. You left the apartment and I never got to say goodbye because as you left the house a car came full speed and killed the one person I loved. We could have worked it out but you left believing I didn't love you anymore. Rye know that I will always love you because you did not have to leave this world so soon. You made a mistake one that was stupid and childish but I forgive you my Rye-pie I forgive you
       Forever and always your Fovvs💞

*authors note: listen to chemicals by Dean Lewis omg it's so good it's what the lyrics are in this chapter. I might make a bunch like this I don't know yet I kinda like this one. Ending was unexpected even for me lol. It was my take on the song I don't know what the artist thought when writing this though*

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