Chapter 9

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We continued to chat aimlessly for a while. It was idle talk, while we picked at the cinnamon rolls. He asked me about my job, about my childhood, asked about friends, and then asked about Ben. It wasn't all that shocking to know that he knew about Ben and a few of my friends, since I knew that he had someone following me. Our conversation was mostly pleasant and I was surprised to feel how easy it was to talk to Miles. We had moved our conversation back over

"Tell me about your club." 

His eyes had widened slightly as if he wasn't expecting the question.

"I'm only asking because once I found out who you were and that you were part of the Phoenix MC, I was too afraid to look it up. I didn't want your club to be a reason I didn't go looking for you."

With a slight nod of his head and a tilt of his chin he explained, "We're not a criminal club. The majority of us are all military vets. Many of us have served in different military branches, but that's part of what ties us together. Most of us, also have had trouble pasts when it comes to family." There was a slight hardness that came across his face as if he was remembering something from his past. 

"Some of us have been on the street before we were even legal, some of us have just come from neglectful homes. To the members in our club, we are all family. We aren't a criminal club, but we treat each other like family and we would do anything and have done everything to protect our family."

I just blinked at him for a few seconds, processing all that he said. After a moment I was able to clear my thoughts and told him honestly, "I think it's great that you have been able to establish a place that people can call home."

"I'd like for you to come to the club and meet everyone." He paused and then cleared his throat and quickly amended his statement. "I mean, if you would like to. I don't want you to feel obligated..."

I couldn't help but let out a light laugh. "I'd like to meet people. Just as long as no one grabs my ass this time."

"Trust me that will not be a problem. I'm not sure that your boyfriend would like to join you though." His eyes studied me for some type of reaction. 

There it was. I felt the guilt slide into me like a knife. I hated lying to Ben. He had always been so supportive and loving. The fact that when my parents died he had been there to hold me and comfort me, and when I told him that I found out I was adopted he was there.. I just didn't feel like I could tell him all that I knew though. I didn't feel like I could tell him that I wanted to find out more about those that helped to create me. 

"Even if you are adopted, Mia, your parents will always be your parents. They loved you." If there was one sentence that could eat me up and spit me out, it was that. The guilt I felt when Ben had told me that no matter what my parents would always be my parents. I knew that, I really did, but there was this deep and burning curiosity that needed and wanted to know more. 

Meeting Miles and trying to establish some form of relationship was just not something that Ben would understand or agree with. To him, it seemed that if I went searching I would be trying to replace my parents. That wasn't what this was though, this was finding out where I came from. It was seeing things in myself that I never saw in my parents but I see in Miles. It was in the eyes that had the same color and same shape as me. It was in the little ways of how I would notice when he felt uncomfortable his eyebrows would raise and he wouldn't look at me. They were traits of my personality and habits that I had developed that I hadn't seen in anyone else. In some kind of scientific study this would be looking at things in a nature vs. nurture kind of way. 

It was a sense of self discovery and Ben just didn't understand that. So although I hated lying to him and hated to hide anything from him, I knew that these moments would be just for me. When the time was right I would then introduce them in the best way that I could find. Preferably once I understood and got to know Miles and his life more. 

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