bts pt.2 // kim seokjin //

scene 31

Ring. Ring.

Seokjin sighed.

Why was everyone stopping him?

He grabbed hold of his phone in his pocket, tempted to throw it across the ledge to shut up, answering it either way.

"Hyung?"

Seokjin sighed. "Yes Yoongi?"

"What are you doing?" Yoongi said, suspicion slowly creeping up to his tone.

"Getting some air."

Wow. So blunt.

"The last time I heard you doing something normal, turns out to be a time wherein you contemplated whether to die or not. You better not be doing the same thing or something worse."

He grew silent.

Despite the thoughts that continued to fog his mind, he can never forget how much his youngers affected him.

Those times when he wanted to finally rest, he would be lying if they didn't slip to his mind when he was at that point. He loved them and continue to do so. But there would always be times where he completely ignored them in every point of view. It just made him hate himself why was he slow at ending it, at the same time, guiltier for hurting his youngers.

His thoughts were jumbled. Ear piercing yells of the demons started, backfiring every thought he came up with, either saying something that sounds positive or something straight negative. People may call it bittersweet. But more of a bitter coating the sweetness. So basically bitter.

"Get down from there hyung."

Seokjin turned around only to see a Min Yoongi looking up at him, hands in his pockets.

"Hyung,"

"Why are you here Yoongi?"

Yoongi stared at the male. He followed him, stepping on the ledge at ease, standing beside Seokjin, ignoring the look he was getting. "After hearing Jimin's failed attempt of bringing you down, I decided to adjust for you instead."

Seokjin didn't reply, instead looking ahead. Silence seemed to be like a blanket over them. None uttered a word as they listened to the almost inaudible whispers of the wind.

"Why are you pushing us away hyung?"

Shocked to hear the younger speak, he pursed his lips. He wasn't expecting such a question from the smaller but it made sense on why he asked.

He desired being alone. Not that he wanted to, it just became something he picked up from past events. He never thought it would come to the point that he started pushing people away or not bothering them at all.

"Hyung." The younger called.

Seokjin sighed. "I-I don't know."

Yoongi turned to look at the older. "You do, I know it."

I don't know

"You can tell me, although I know it's hard."

"Will it benefit you in all such if you do know?" Seokjin asked, not giving the other a glance.

Huffing, Yoongi retorted. "Honestly? It won't."

"Then what-"

"But it will for all of us."

Seokjin turned towards Yoongi who turned out to be eyeing him too.

"You don't know how much it pains us hyung."

Seokjin kept silent. Yoongi sighed.

"Taehyung was pretty fucked up."

Seokjin eyed the younger with confusing eyes.

Fucked up?

"He had been pretty caught up after being the one who saw you that night. "

What?

"Won't stop worrying about you. Asking how you are, what you're doing, have you eaten yet and so on."

What?

"It's sad though. We don't know how to answer him for neither do we know. We ask the same questions."

Seokjin bit his lip.

Yoongi sighed. "It hurts to know that our eldest hyung, who takes care of us so much, can't even take care of himself."

I know, I can't do shi-

"It hurts to know that we can't take care of you hyung."

Seokjin stared at the smaller.

"We were unable to do our jobs as brothers to you. We didn't watch over you or check if you were okay in every way possible, unlike how you did for us."

Yoongi shook, biting his lip as he choked.

"W-We failed to make you feel the love that you needed and deserved. We failed to help you mentally, instead abused you. We failed to help you hyung. We failed to make you feel that you belonged. We failed to notice what was happening."

Yoongi had tears falling.

"We are sorry hyung. I-I'm sorry h-hyung-"

Yoongi's cries were muffled when the older pulled him in his arms. Yoongi leaned his head on broad shoulders of his hyung, his own arms snaking around the older as he gripped the cloth on his back.

"I-I'm so-"

Seokjin hushed the smaller. "Shush Yoongi-ah."

"I should be the one apologizing, not you."

Yoongi didn't reply immediately. His sobs were subsiding,but he kept hold on Seokjin. He felt his hair be stroked by the older, comfort overwhelming him. He hated and won't admit it out loud.
He missed it.

"Hyung?"

Seokjin hummed in response.

"Promise me to talk to us."

Seokjin stiffened, arms still around the other.

"Please, hyung."

Seokjin was shaking. He wasn't used to it. He didn't know whether to hate or like the comfort he was getting.

"We'll be here hyung. You haven't heard it from me nor the others, but I'm saying it now."

Seokjin hesitated.

"W-We love you hyung."

Tears prickled at the corners of Seokjin's eyes, the pounding of his heart didn't come unnoticed.

Yoongi sighed.

"We c-can't lose you."

Tears poured, Seokjin sobbed on Yoongi's shoulder. He was crying.

You hurt your youngers, Seokjin.

I know.

...

Heal and stay alive.

For them.