Sorry's and I Love You's

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I can't breathe I feel like I'm gonna throw up

'Y..you and HER!' I say angrily

'Let me explain' he says taking my hand

'Get your hands off me!' I shout

'And you! Who do you think you are stood there in next to nothing all over MY FIANCÉ!' I say to Kayli

She laughs which makes me feel even more sick

'Oh Tracy don't you see? That ring you're wearing right now was mine. Yeah. My promise ring the only reason he's still with you is cuz of that baby' she says

'Is this true?' I say

'Of course not I want you and only you' Seth says

Kayli laughs and passes me her phone I scroll through despite Seth telling me not too as all the messages highlight in my head

Can't wait to hold you in my arms again

You're so beautiful I wish you were mine

Once Tracys had the baby we will be together I promise

I love you Kayli Summers

Meet me today we can make up for lost time

It dawns on me...that these are all from him

I can't stop myself from crying but this Kayli's gonna see me as weak so I do my best to hold it in

'How could you do this to me? After everything we've been through' I say looking him straight in the eye

'I just wanted a bit of fun' he says

'Yeah which I gave him you however you're just a boring careworker who is as exciting as paperwork in bed whereas me? I've got it all sweetheart' Kayli says

'You...actually said that about me?' I say, my voice breaking

'Trace I'm sorry' he says

'You know that night you was waiting at the restaurant? he was with me' she says

She sounds so pleased with herself I really want to wipe the smirk off her face

'Don't be so pleased with yourself Kayli. He chose me. You were just his bit on the side' I say smiling

'Only cuz of that baby if you wasn't pregnant he wouldn't be with you! Can't you see that!?' she says

'Keep talking' I say

'He feels sorry for you because you grew up in Care he told me about all the panic attacks you have about your mum we laugh about it sometimes, actually the stuff he's said about you is all rather laughable' She says

'Kayli that's enough!' Seth says

'He told me everything Tracy. About how boring you are and he was desperate for a break, for a bit of fun and you couldn't give him that so he went looking in other places and looking at you he's right. He said your not a ten out of ten more a four...but me? Well you don't need to think about what he said do you' She says proudly

That's it.

'Get out. of this house. Now.' I say angrily looking Seth in the eye he bows his head in shame I'd deal with him later

She walks over to me getting in my face

'Call me when you get bored' she says to Seth

'That's it' I say before my anger takes over and I lash out grabbing her golden blonde curls and dragging her into the street Seth shouts at me to calm down but I don't instead my anger rises more and more as I push her to the ground

'If you ever come near me again I'll make sure you regret it' I say before going back inside and slamming the door on her

'Trace I'm sorry just let me Ex..'

Nah. No more explaining

'How long.' I say

He falls silent must be quite a while

'HOW LONG!!' I scream angrily at him

'A year...on and off' he says

'A year. A FUCKING YEAR!!! You've been lying to me for A WHOLE YEAR!!!' I scream

'How could you HOW COULD YOU HOW COULD YOU!!!' I scream

That's all I wanted to do. Just scream

'I never meant to hurt you' he says

'Oh that's alright then!' I shout sitting down to stop myself from fainting

'Please just believe me when I say I'm sorry' he says

'You're sorry you got caught' I say angrily inching myself away from him to stop me doing something I would regret

'I just wanted a bit of..' he says

'Fun?' I say finishing his sentence

He nods shamefully

'So just because I can't have sex with you all the time because I've actually got a job you see me as boring?' I say trying not to either cry or throw something at him

'She has something about her makes me feel like nobody else could' he says

'You're really not helping yourself are you?' I say wiping my fallen tears, not that there was much point because more and more keep coming

'Trace please listen to me look at me' he says taking my hand

'I am so sorry, I messed up but if you give me another chance I know we can sort this out for the baby you don't want it to come from a broken home' he says

'So NOW you're thinking of our baby! YOU MISSED THE SCANS BECAUSE YOU WERE OUT HAVING SEX WITH HER!!' I scream just wanting it to stop

I stand up and pick up my suitcase I couldn't stay here I'd just have to explain to Cam

'Where are you going?' He says

'Where do you think!' I say

'Oh right running off to mike again see this is why I went to Kayli because I will never be better than mike!' He says

'Do you have any idea how pathetic you sound? Mikes like a father to me! He was actually there for me! He's the exact opposite to you' I say

'Babe please I love you' he says

I walk over to him and look him dead in the eyes

'You've broken my heart Seth. its over.' I say angrily before leaving the house and slamming the door behind me

I walk out into the rain and instantly crumble unable to stop the tears I feel so hurt so betrayed so angry but yet so sad as I place my suitcase in the boot and get in the car, I hit the steering wheel in anger

He clearly couldn't take no for an answer because he runs out to stop me, I start the engine which is loud enough to drown out his sorry's and I love you's

They mean nothing to me now.

It isn't the fact he cheated on me. That is upsetting yes of course it is and my heart is breaking. But what's worse is my baby growing up with no dad...just like I did

I've failed at being a mother and I haven't even met my tiny human yet...I'm just a failure

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