I've been feeling like shit for the past 5-6 days now. Last Friday I had an anxiety attack. When I have anxiety attacks I tend to stay in a low or sad mood for some days after, but it's not usually unbearable. I usually stay tired and feel exhausted, but that's the extent of it.
Every single day since Friday Has been a battle, way worse than normal. I've cried every day since then and my anxiety has not gone away. Anything and everything can push me off the edge. I've never had two panic attacks less than 5 days apart, but this week I did.
Not even 5 days apart. My last panic attack was yesterday. Panic attacks are pretty terrifying. I feel like I can't breathe, my heart beats faster, i feel like im buzzing because I can't stop shaking and I can't stop crying. My whole body shuts down and it makes it impossible for me to function.
The after affects are just as bad. My brain shuts down and I can't function for days after. I feel stupid and useless because I can't do anything and it's so frustrating. I haven't really done any school work since then because it's like I physically can't do it. My brain can't comprehend anything right now. I can't control my emotions or tears and the crying also continues for days to come. Everything seems wrong. I know I feel a certain way usually, but I'll feel the complete opposite and it's so confusing because I know how i really feel. But because of all the chemical imbalances in my brain I feel completely and utterly confused. I am exhausted emotionally and physically. My throat feels like it's closing and the pressure hasn't gone away. My lungs hurt. I'm sad, my anxiety is still high and I can barely function. My thoughts don't feel like my own and all I want to do is hurt myself.
It's shit.
Complete shit.
I'm still feeling like this, it hasn't gone away yet. It's the most frustrating thing in the world. I wish these feelings would pass, but they haven't. It's like torture for the mind by the mind.
I almost had another panic attack today. That would have made it three in the past 5 or 6 days. I cried for an hour and a half on and off not able to control it. Im very close to being done, I can't handle being like this anymore. Looks like the only thing I can do is get help for myself. I'll completely break if I don't get help as soon as I can.
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My inspiration...
Poetry"She is so fragile. Everything breaks her heart, But nothing can mend it." - Peyton (me) This is a book filled with my poetry and it may contain some trying times in my life I've decided to share. You can interpret my poems the way you'd like. You c...
