Chapter 47

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Chapter 47

Harry's P.O.V

I placed small snacks onto this random tray I found underneath the stove top. Anna was staying in today. She had told me she wasn't feeling at her best, that she wanted to stay in bed today. I couldn't blame her, I saw her face, how scared she was, how much she feared me and for a spilt-second she wasn't with the world. She was in her own world which took her back into her past and decided to scare her again.

I shake my head when I place a bowl of mixed nuts onto the tray. I couldn't believe how upset she was, how shaky her skin was against her body. She was in panic. I wasn't sure what had caused her trigger, I mean, she was just fine till I had gone into the stage of entering her. I guess her past had messed with her physical touch and it caused her to remember the touch she received back then. I didn't know much, I had never been in such a state or situation where I had post-traumatic stress disorder so I couldn't speak for her.

I had to tell Gemma that she had felt sick from some food she had eaten lately and she stayed in so the kids wouldn't get sick and Gemma appreciated that. I felt bad for a moment lying to my sister but there was no other choice. Anna would kill me if I told her what had really happened.

After everything had happened, I gave Anna some alone time. I went to finish the Snakes and Ladders game with Ethan, where he was a proud winner. I also went to store quickly, picked up some Kit Kats and a six pack of the Vodka Cruisers that Anna likes, especially the watermelon flavours. On the way out, I picked up some Pop Tarts because why not? And now I'm here laying the food out for her ready for lunch.

I turned around, walking back to my bedroom passing by Gemma reading a book by the lounge and the two children having their afternoon nap in Anna's bedroom. I knock before I carefully balance the tray on my arm and open the door, revealing her all cuddle up in the blankets staring down at my laptop screen. When he sees me she presses pause on the movie and I make my way over to her.

'You didn't have to, Harry.' she notices the tray of food, gently mumbling as she moves the laptop so I could lay next to her. I smile at her, even though she had the messy bun and dull eyes she was still beautiful.

'I wanted to. Here.' I pass the tray to her so she can sit it on her lap. I look over to the laptop and see a movie on the screen. 'Is that Game Night?' I ask lifting the sheets over my legs. She replies in hums and she starts looking over the tray of food.

I noticed she wasn't too far into the movie. 'Naw.' She hums beside me, pouting out her bottom lip and her soft eyes look to me. I notice her fingers holding the Kit Kat bar and she smiled down at the tray. 'I love this, all of it. Thank you.'

She started picking at the mixed nuts when she rests her head on my shoulder, running her arm around my bicep. I dug in myself as she pressed play on the movie and the Netflix logo had disappeared. 'I'm not that far into it. Ryan's a funny character.' She pushes out a stifled chuckle and I chuckle along with her.

'Yeah, he is.' I rest my head on hers, feeling the bump of the soft bun caress my cheek. 'It gets better throughout the movie, it gets funnier, plus there's a good plot twist.' I tell.

I continue to pick at the food. I shouldn't be but she didn't seem to care. My mind begins to drift off while she watched the movie. I could see the movie but I didn't focus on the words or the plot, I've already seen it so there was no need for me to pay attention. I rubbed my thumb against her thigh to give her sense of comfort if she had needed it.

I knew she was still upset and disturbed over this morning and it only seemed right to see if she was feeling better. I reach over, taking in a deep inhale when I pause the movie. Anna doesn't question it but she looks up at me, furrowed brows while she chews on her food. 'Are you feeling better?' I carefully ask. I didn't wanna stir up memories again, maybe she had forgotten...I didn't want to bring it into her mind again.

Anna doesn't reply straight away, instead, she turns her body around, crossing her legs facing towards me. The laptop and food sat beside her. I could tell she had some extra things to say, the way she got ready for a stern conversation. 'Much better.' She smiles and grabs a hold of my hand, running her fingers along mine and the rings around them.

She diverts her eyes away from mine. 'I'm sorry for what happened.' She says, not keeping eye contact but I keep my eyes on her, scanning her. She didn't need to apologise, I understood everything.

'No, baby don't ap-'

'No Harry, I want to. I didn't want that to get in-between us. I wanted to have that moment with you and I had ruined it. I don't want us to keep intimacy away from us because of what happened to me.' she continues.

'Anna-'

'I don't want what happened to me get in-between us. It doesn't make who I am, I am not that. I'm stronger than that and I do trust you, from the bottom of my heart I do but I don't know what happened this morning. I wanted it as much as you, now we are in this together and I couldn't and I am sorry.' Her hand was on her chest, her soft eyes came to mine then moved their way to my hand where I was holding hers, caressing her knuckles slightly.

'Anna, I don't care how long it will take you to be ready for me. All that matters is when the time is ready, that it's gonna be a beautiful moment.' I look into her, her eyes are soft, no tears to shed but she seemed sentimental at the moment.

She smiles warmly at me, lifting her torso up and into me, wrapping her arms around my neck and I hug her back, wrapping my arms around her waist. Her head snuggled in my neck. I warmly rub the lower of her back resting my head into her neck, becoming comfortable with her touch.

Over this whole month, I have felt completely changed with Anna. I've been off random women for so long and it's been years since I've been in a proper relationship. It felt right, it felt like this was meant to be. I was meant to be with Anna and it feels beautiful to be in her arms with her and only her. I couldn't even understand myself, why I had so many women in my life. It wasn't me and I finally had discovered that. It was me to find the perfect girl and fall in love with her and my heart is so full because I had finally found love.

It all had fallen into place and I was finally falling into a deep love. I didn't know change was so good.

After she released herself from the hug, she pecks at my lips slightly and sits downs, legs crossed again. She looked beautiful. I couldn't help but stare. 'I mean, we could always try again.' she mumbles, looking at me with her soft eyes.

My mind jumps from itself and into the real world. I smirk, raising my brow to her, 'What? Now?' I look around, the laptop and the tray of food maybe in the way though.

'No, not now. Just saying that I'm up for trying again. I don't want the memories to flood me, I don't want them there anymore...'

'Do you think trying more often will rid of them?'

She slowly nods her head. I couldn't help but agree, if this is what she really wanted then I will help and support her on this decision everyday till she was comfortable with me again. All I wanted was her comfortability with me. I would never want to force her, I was better than that.

I take her hand and she gently squeezes, smiling at me. 'Whenever you are ready, baby girl.' I reassure her watching her nod and smile agreeing with me. That's when she leans herself back onto my shoulder, grabs the laptop and the tray food and she begins to play the movie again and we both watch and eat in silence, enjoying the much-needed comfort of each other. 


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If some of you didn't know I did take some time off to edit my WHOLE book because it was....terrible to say the least.  But I'm here and back, writing again, (I didn't chnange much, just took away or added words and fixed grammar mistakes). This chapter was a small filler, not 100% proud of this one but I do like how it turned out in the end. I love you all so much, thank you for waiting as I edited. Vote? Comment?

-Ana

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