Sinfully Tasteful

Chapter 4, Two Different Worlds

Song to listen to while reading: These Nights by Langston Francis
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My heart hammered in my chest, whether it was because I was thoroughly exhausted and out of breath from the dance or from seeing him after all this time had passed was a mystery, yet I chose to go with the first option.

He no longer has an effect on me, I remind myself.

The dance slowly came to an end as did the sense of euphoria I had felt.

"Leaving so soon?" he questioned as I gathered my thoughts and had begun to walk towards where I last left Mya.

"There's nothing keeping me here," I spoke softly over my shoulder, him and I both know the double meaning that lay beneath those five words.

I could hear a sigh from behind me vocalize from inside of him, that makes the both of us.

I promised myself I wouldn't muddle myself again in the depths of his webs of lies. It wasn't long ago he had ensnared my very being in that same web, never again.

I could see Mya mingling with a few others and I wasn't very much in the mood to socialize so I head to the second floor of the club for a breather on the terrace.

I made my way through the sea of people and up the stairs, the second floor lay bare of people and life itself, perfect.

My manicured fingers grasped the icy handle of the door and pulled, the air outside was crisp and fresh. I instantaneously inhaled a large gulp of air and let it cleanse me from the inside out. I hadn't realized it until now how suffocated I felt inside.

It's not because of him, I remind myself once more. He doesn't faze me.

I opened my clutch and searched its remnants for my cigars and took one out. Only a minute later did I realize you need a lighter to light a cigar and I delved right back into my clutch once more. I let out an exhausted string of swears when my lighter was nowhere to be found.

"Here.. use mine," the voice from behind me spoke out, slightly startled yet still composed, I turned around.

The devil himself.

"I thought I made it clear your presence wasn't wanted nor needed, Chico" I seethed in anger, the fresh air from before slowly eroding into something much more heavy.

Maybe it was him.

"You did.. but it's also clear that you're in need of this," he spoke, waving a silver lighter with the head of cobra on it in front of my eyes.

Begrudgingly, I took the lighter and a spark came to life creating a small and soft auburn glow in the midst of the darkness that surrounded us, courtesy of the night sky.

"Thank you," I monotonously replied, turning my back to him after returning him his lighter.

I placed the cigar in between both my slightly chapped lips and inhaled a deep puff, allowing it to mingle and swirl in my lungs before releasing a cloud of smoke.

I hadn't realized he still stood behind me until he spoke out once more.

"I never meant to hurt you, Aria" he spoke so softly I almost didn't catch it.

I sharply turned in his direction, my eyes seething and dripping in poisonous vexation. If looks could kill he'd be six feet under.

"You did not hurt me. Don't you ever think, not even for a second, that I would ever let anyone but me dictate my emotions for me." I retorted, cautiously slow to put emphasis on every single word.

"I know. You've always been so..indestructible, Aria. It's one of the things I loved about you once upon a time ago. And although that may be true it doesn't disapprove the fact that we were in love," he said, taking a step closer towards me, my footing still planted same as before.

I exhaled another puff of smoke and spoke out, "were. Keyword were. Things change as do people."

"That doesn't have to be the case," he stated but before he could finish his thought I had cut him off with three simple words.

"But it is,"
"If we're done here, I'm leaving," I stated and before he had time to object I was gone.

I met with Mya and we both head out the club, my mind in a frenzy.

The car was waiting outside for us and I quickly drove us home. She could tell I clearly didn't want to talk about what happened because nothing did happen and I'm grateful for that. I wasn't in the mood. It was all pointless anyways.

After I parked the car we both head into the house, the clock perched above the doorway in the house read '11:36 PM'. We bid each other goodnight's and head to our separate rooms. Today didn't go as planned..

Where do I begin with Chico? We were sweethearts, what seemed like forever ago, and although we never properly made it out as an item, the love was always there. That was until everything changed, he changed, and so did I. He became the Don and I became the Capa. The cliche was almost unbearable, two star crossed lovers forbidden from seeing each other because they're from two different worlds and sides, Romeo and Juliet are rolling in their graves right now.

Things happen for a reason, I've accepted that. He should to. A Rossi simply cannot be involved with a De Luca, it would be the ultimate sign of weakness, one which I cannot afford in this line of business, and who knows who'd strike for the throne I was seated on.

My father had always taught me business first and then personal matters. Power was everything and I will forever live by that. Without power, I'm nothing. I worked hard to get where I am and I'll be damned if I'd let it slip away from me without a fight.

I can't afford to love him in this life, maybe another. Maybe in another dimension or realm we would be together and life would be simpler, but not this one. It's all too complicated.

With my mind racing with all these thoughts I took a quick shower and head straight for my bed. I've been here for two days or so and I'm already exhausted from everything, I have an even longer day ahead of me tomorrow, business calls. I have a meeting with two large donors and my right hand, Alesso, to prepare for.

As my eyes slowly came to a closed halt for slumber I reminded myself one last time..

.. the act of loving him is not benign, it is soul-aching. loving him can have me skipping steps and dancing in the stars or sitting in my bed ill stricken, begging for salvation. the act of loving him is a remedy of euthanasia on my soul.