The Crazy Life

Better

"Watch it, baby," Dylan warned but laughed.

These guys were crazy.

Dylan sat up and gave Jackson a nod. Jackson saluted and left the room, leaving just Dylan and myself.

"I know this is uncomfortable to talk about, but I need to ask you this. Do you think you need to go to a psychiatric hospital for a little while? Only for a week. It's not a bad thing. It will just make sure you're not going to hurt yourself," Dylan suggested softly.

"Dyl, I really don't think that will help me. I don't want to be away from my house and my friends. I'm not going to try to hurt myself again. I just need a little bit of help," I replied.

"We're going to get you a therapist and we can set up a schedule for you to talk to her. If anything gets worse, you need to let one of us know before it gets to this point again," He demanded.

I nodded. He spoke once again.

"Buggy, I am so so so sorry for what happened today. Things are going to get better, okay? You gotta trust me on this one kid. Whatever you're going through, we're gonna go through it together. Capiche?" He questioned, flicking my forehead.

"Capiche," I replied, flicking his forehead back. He rolled his eyes and walked towards the door.

He stopped before closing the door completely.

"Hey, come downstairs in about an hour, we're gonna order pizza and have a family dinner," He said, closing the door when I nodded.

For the next hour, I played on my phone until it was time for dinner. I was called down and joined the table.

It seemed like any other normal dinner night, the boys talking about sports, girls, and occasionally teasing everyone, but it just didn't feel the same. I couldn't get over how hopeless I was feeling.

I poked around at my food and mostly kept my head down, occasionally looking up and acting interested in their conversations so they wouldn't suspect anything. Ben kept making eye contact with me, but I'd look away quickly every time.

After a few more times of this eye contact, he spoke.

"Babykins, you alright?" He asked in a soothing tone of voice. It was kind of a strange occurrence, he was never nice to me.

I nodded and took a bite of my food. They knew I was uncomfortable, so they tried to continue their conversation. It was obvious that there was a mutual feeling of sadness around the table, though.

The conversation kind of died down and the table was relatively silent. I decided it was time for me to speak up. I didn't want to keep everyone feeling miserable.

"Guys, please don't blame this on yourselves. Yeah, we had a fight, and some mean things were said, but what I did wasn't because of that. It just pushed me over the edge. I've been struggling for a while and all I want to do is get better. I know you all are trying the best you can, and I appreciate it. Jackson, I know it's hard to parent a kid who isn't yours and still be an older brother at the same time. I understand you guys are stressed. I'm sorry I caused all of these problems. I can promise to you guys that I'm gonna do everything I can to get better, and you're not going to lose me anytime soon," I spoke, making them all smile. Genuinely smile.

Soon after, I realized I hated being emotional around them.

"By the way, you're all losers," I stuck out my tongue at them, flipping my hair dramatically.

"You're getting a little brave over there, kiddo," Jackson teasingly warned.

I giggled and got up from the table. We all volunteered Ryan to do the dishes and I made my way upstairs. I yelled down goodnight to the boys on my way up.

When I reached the top, I made my way to my parents room.

I stood in the doorway, not wanting to go completely.

"Good night guys. I miss you, a lot. I'm not going to disappoint you anymore, I promise. I'm going to do better," I closed the door and went back to my room.

I'm going to do better.

A/N

Hey guys! Sorry for the boring chapter, for the next ones, I'm gonna be making it less depressing lols

Life has been kinda hard lately, not gonna lie.  I'm really overwhelmed with school and my extra curricular activities but somehow I'm managing to get through. Remember, no matter how tough it gets, you'll always get through :)

I'm watching football with my parents and my brother Dylan right now. I'm so bored. I hate watching football. Send help.

Anywayyyysss hope you enjoy the chapter!

AS OF 1/16/19 I AM #1 in #siblings !! OMGGG! Thank you guys so much for reading and supporting, I love you all 😭❤️

pls comment something and entertain me

xoxo, livvy