next door ↬ ethma

thirteen

One word. Mayhem.

Within a span of twenty minutes, the pair gets kicked out, which was well deserved. But let's back up to the beginning.

Ethan heads over to the personal care aisles and roams the rows up and down trying to find a specific item. He's unable to locate it so instead he settles for the next best thing. Condoms. And not just any type of condoms. The one he found included something called dragon's spikes. He chuckles and adds it to his basket.

Emma on the other hand, heads to the automotive section and is pleased to see a pink, fluffy steering wheel cover. She's excited to see how it will look in Ethan's all black interior Jeep. She actually has a feeling he'll fall in love with it and keep it, because how iconic is that.

They both somehow end up meeting in the snack aisle afterwards. The whole point of this trip is to reveal their items at the end so if they see each other before then, it ruins the experience. Emma turns around so he doesn't see her item and backs up so she's shoving him back to get him to leave. Ethan lets out a few shouts, telling her to go away.

That's when her coffee spills. Too bad it wasn't tea. She drops it when Ethan accidentally bumped into her too hard. At that exact moment, an employee walks by and watches the entire scene pan out. She stops dead in her tracks, shakes her head while she rolls her eyes, and continues to walk the way she was going.

"Ethan!" Emma shouts.

"That was so your fault!" He exclaims.

Emma brings two fingers to her eyes and then points them at Ethan, signaling to him that she has her eyes on him. They both walk away, leaving the spilt coffee for a poor employee to clean up.

She ends up traveling to the makeup and skin care, finding a face mask that looks like a panda. She adds two to her basket and moves on. Before she's able to get too far, she runs into the employee from earlier.

"Hey! Did you plan on cleaning that up?" She shouts when she notices Emma trying to make a run for it.

Emma turns around to face her, "I figured you guys would take care of it."

"How would you like it if I walked into your house and spilt something on your floor and just walked away?" The employee shouts, her name tag reading Sarah.

"I'm sorry, I just don't have anything to clean it up with." Emma replies.

"The bathroom is right over there! It would take one minute of your time to get some paper towels." Sarah continues.

That's when Emma had it. She could have politely asked her to clean it up, but instead she's throwing a hissy fit over a little spill.

"Okay bitch, listen up. I apologized and in this kind of situation the employee usually cleans it up. You guys are the ones that know where the caution signs and the cleaning supplies are. Now stop yelling at me for a simple accident." Emma says.

The employee is about to say something else but is cut short when Ethan arrives.

"Is there a problem?" He asks, placing his arm around Emma's waist.

She looks really uncomfortable now that it's not someone her size or that she's capable of taking on. She shakes her head and walks away, but not without leaving a burning glare directed at them.

"Can't believe you're already getting yourself in trouble." Ethan jokes.

They separate again and try to find more things in peace. Luckily they don't run into that employee again, however they did avoid the aisle they spilt the coffee in.

Once they finished, they make it to the self checkout and pay for their items. Sarah happened to be monitoring the self checkout and watched their every move.

Emma turns to Ethan and whispers in his ear, "I dare you to ask her if they carry dildos."

Ethan snickers but complies anyway, even if the task was embarrassing.

"M'am do you happen to sell dildos here?" He asks, trying his absolute best not to break down laughing.

She glares at them as she doesn't seem to be amused.

"Get out. I don't want to see either of you here again." She replies.

"What authority do you have to ban us?" Emma asks.

The employee simply points to her name tag where above her name says the word manager.

"Ohhh..." The two of them say in unison.

She simply smiles in annoyance and crosses her arms.

The two of them leave in shame. That is, until they get to the parking lot and burst out laughing.

"I can't believe we got banned, Ethan! That poor woman had to deal with our nonsense." Emma says.

"You were the one that spilt the coffee and dared me to ask her that." Ethan defends.

"Yea, but it's your fault since you were the one that pushed me and you didn't have to ask her that." She replies.

"Touché."

Once back in his car, they begin to reveal their items. It was a good thing they checked out first before getting kicked out, otherwise the whole plan might have been ruined.

They exchange shopping bags and Ethan goes first. The first thing he pulls out is the steering wheel cover.

"Oh my god, I love it." He says.

"For some reason I thought you would." Emma replies as Ethan removes the packaging and puts it on the steering wheel.

As he does that, Emma begins to search through the bag and is astounded to see... condoms? Actually she kind of expected that. But not this level of weird.

"What the fuck is this?" She asks, as she holds the packaging in her hand.

"Honestly, I'm not sure but you asked for weird and I delivered." He replies.

She throws it back in the bag, pretending she didn't see that. She continues to the next item and it's a candle, but the label has a picture of bacon on it and that makes her weary.

"I figured since you can't eat it, it's the next best thing." Ethan said, shrugging.

She takes the lid off and immediately the entire car is overtaken by the smell of artificial meat.

"Oh fuck that." She says, covering the candle again.

She shakes her head in disgust, wishing she had never smelt that. It was honestly revolting. Even real bacon had a better scent than that.

Ethan looks over the few items left in the bag and notices the face masks along with an almost dead venus fly trap. Who knew they sold those at Walmart.

That concluded their chaotic trip to the store, but overall it was probably the best thing they could have done at two in the morning.