twenty five

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that night i couldn't sleep. all i could do was cry my eyes out. my head is filled with memories and i can't shut it down so i could get some sleep. i don't want david to see me crying, but i just can't stop. "god, i hate myself" i sobbed.

i drank some water and started to walk around the room. i turned on the tv to distract myself, but it didn't work. i texted charlie but she was probably busy. i started to talk to myself, thinking that maybe this would work. this was going on for the five hours or so that david left me here alone in this room. it's just a complete mess.

but i stopped and tried to wipe away my tears when i heard the door. "why are you still awake?" he asked, frowning his brow as soon as he saw me sitting down by the window. "it's 2 am" david took off his shoes.

i turned my face around so he couldn't see the horrible state that i was. however, my voice cracked when i answered him. "i can't sleep"

"why are you crying?" i heard david stepping closer to me. "what happened?" he helped me get up and i shook my head. "tell me, lia" he sat me down by the bed.

i looked at his face, swallowing thickly, not knowing how to start. i need to tell him everything. i have to tell him or i'm going to explode with so many emotions.

and i told him everything. i talked about my mom, talked about how i felt when he left vernon hills and talked about my panic attacks at that time. i didn't tell him about what happened earlier today, because he would've thought that i was crazy. "i miss her so much" i cried.

"why didn't you tell me? about your mother and everything" he asked rubbing my back. david was sitting down beside me.

"i don't want you to think that i'm crazy" i said laughing. "i just told you i was depressed because you left vernon hills"

"i know it wasn't just because of me, lia" he grabbed my hand. "your mom died, things just coincidentally happened at the same year"

i nodded, intertwining our fingers. "tomorrow we're going to her grave and..." my voice cracked again and david hugged me.

"i'll go with you" he suggested but i shook my head. "please, i don't want you to be alone" david mumbled. these past months, he just turned to be my safe place. i can't deny that have him there with me during this day would help so much.

with a nod, i let go of his grip and laid down on the bed. david did the same and laid by my side. i turned to my left to look at him. "can we talk about this in the morning? i mean, i want to take these things off my mind"

"of course" he pushed me closer to him and put his hand on my cheek.

"how was the party?" i asked.

"it was really funny" he laughed. "i got all on camera, i'll show you later" i nodded.

"yeah, you smell like champagne" i giggled.

"i should take a shower" david was going to get up but i grabbed his hand, pulling him back. "you can go with me if you want" he said with a smirk.

"i want you to stay with me" i looked at him with puppy eyes.

"it's just a quick shower, babe" he got up and went to the bathroom. i need to stop being so clingy.

after ten minutes or so, he came back, wearing his typical black shirt and a jogger still drying his hair. he left the towel on the chair and came back to the bed, covering us with the blanket. "hi" i whispered.

he smiled softly before pressing his lips against mine in a sweet kiss. i felt david's wet hair tickling my skin while i put my hands on his neck, pulling him closer to me. after that, i turned to the other side and david cuddled me. "good night" he whispered, making me smile. it was our first night sleeping together in the same bed. it felt good, it felt safe. i could do this every night.

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