Out of The Woods (COMPLETED)

Chapter 18

The first night that I spent in the pack house, I cried myself to sleep. I sobbed violently acknowledging the loss of my father. Now that I could mourn, I did. I was loosing a friend, a mentor and a father. I was loosing the kindest soul I had ever met, a man who had instilled the same kindness in me. I whacked the pillows aggressively as violent sobs tore through my body.

It wasn't fair.

It was my fault.

He had followed me out of Arden. He had come to save me, it was my fault. My fault. It was all my fault. The world had lost such a loving and bright soul for my sake, to protect me. I could never live up to him, I could never match his brightness. I choked on my tears, my throat felt raw and uncomfortable as I let out a low and wrangled moan as more tears racked my body.

I needed to mourn his loss and let him go. It was heartbreaking and it ripped out pieces of my soul, but I needed to feel the fullest extent of that pain because I deserved every second of it. It was like someone was tearing out my insides as I breathed heavily, panting through my sobs. I didn't hear the door open and the light patter of footsteps fill the room, I didn't realize anyone had entered until I felt warm arms wrap around my body and curls of black hair fell in my face. I panicked for a second, thinking it was Isaac. I didn't want him to see me like this, such a mess. I didn't want to expose this kind of vulnerability to a stranger.

But I calmed once I smelled the familiar chamomile scent of my best friend. Esmeralda wrapped her arms around me and began rubbing my back like she did when we were kids, when the elders gave out to me or when one of the other kids said something cruel. I calmed down as she whispered in my ear that everything would be alright. That I was okay and that I was allowed to grieve.

"It's my fault." I managed to croak out and she shook her head, her eyes burning with a fire that I could see through the darkness that plagued my sight.

"Aurora, it is not your fault. This outcome was past anything you could of foreseen. He only came because he loved you, he died loving you and his soul lives on here, beside you,"

I wept again, registering her words but shook my head. "He died because of me."

"It wasn't your fault. You were his everything Aurora, his precious child. He would've been so happy that he was able to save you. You need to let go of this idea that it was your fault. If anything, it is fate. The cruel string of fate that pulls at our hearts and our souls."

I breathed heavily, but despite that the tears had stopped. Now I was just left in a raw sadness. But I knew, I knew that he loved me.

"Beautiful child, he loved you so much." She whispered, as she patted my hair soothingly.

"I know it hurts. It hurts so much you wish you could rip it out. But you cannot for that pain is a reminder of what that person was to you. It will take time to heal and it will not feel like it was before, but this pain you feel now will fade."

"It hurts so much Esme." I whispered and she nodded.

"I know Aurora. But it will be okay, as long as you do not shut yourself away from love. I am here, as is Finn. And that wolf, that wolf loves you very much."

"It's so overwhelming." I whimpered and she drew back, her eyes alight and glowing.

"But it is so beautiful. This is the love you desired, is it not?"

I nodded wordlessly, she reached out and held my hand tenderly. "Allow yourself to heal Aurora. Be kind to yourself, it's what he would've wanted."

I nodded. I knew that.

She gave me a last hug before whispering. "Get some sleep, I'm right down the hall if you need me."