Legacy (onebluerose)

44 2 12

Reviewer: onebluerose

Author: NoNameIsWorkin

Cover: 9/10

The cover looks great. Everything is readable and the fonts are nice. The background gives the proper mystery-thriller vibe. I especially like the description on top. It kind of reminds me about the Saw movie franchise.

Description / Summary: 10/10

The summary is really well-written. It gives the reader the gist of the story without giving away any spoilers. It arouses curiosity as the story could play out in so many ways based on the description. When I first read this part, I knew I was gonna read it til the end.​ ​Well done!

Chapter Review: 9/10

I have read the book up to the epilogue but will only go into detail on the first three chapters. Overall, there was no problem with grammar and punctuation and there was only minimal amount of typographical error. Each chapter has substantial amount of action, meaning readers would not be bored. Just one thing, consider cutting long sentences. If one long sentence could be made into two, consider doing so.

Chapter 1: The transition from one scene to another was well executed. There was no confusion regarding what was happening as it was presented clearly. The contrast you have used at the beginning of Emily's day and the events that happened later on was brilliant. It was heartbreaking as well as ominous (considering that the book is a mystery/thriller). Only one suggestion though. Add more detail to what the characters are feeling like describe how chills ran up their spine or the heavy feeling on their chest or the dread that settle into the pit of their stomach. Don't just write about the physical actions, which you have written well, to show their emotions. It would pull in the reader more effectively if we could imagine their internal turmoil together with their body language.

Chapter 2: I could clearly picture this chapter in my mind. The feelings of the character who owns the diary reached me on so many levels. The indifference of those who surround him, I see it happening in real life. This was so relatable and real.

Chapter 3: The characters' background were explained well. The transition from present to flashbacks was also well executed. The events at the beginning of the memorial scene in the living room was not overdramatic but real. The outrageousness of the situation was painted clearly as well as the dread that came after. The end of the chapter was also a good cliffhanger.

Main Characters: 10/10

The characters' personalities were constructed well. They were also consistent throughout the story. The obliviousness of the twins at the beginning, the sadness, anger and regret (also Jenny's regret) was very understable and true. And each has their own way of showing these emotions which is great as they are different people. Also, each character's background revealed the reason behind their actions and those actions were connected and faithful to the end they have arrived at. As much as the villain was cruel, I found a part of me that understood him and I wished I could be the person there for him. Overall, your characters are true, relatable, and consistent. I get mad at them but also like them.

((By the way, I still feel there's something deeper and darker about Chester's character. I can't help but think about it. I am really curious. Maybe a bonus chapter??? LOL.))

Activity of the Writer: 10/10

The author replies to feedback/comments on the story as well as on their conversation feed.

Plot: 8/10

The plot is great! It's interesting and the flow was smooth and well executed. It piques interest chapter by chapter. Then, why take away two points? That is because there were some ​slip ups​ in the later chapters which caused some serious spoiler vibes (hint: knife which was placed in a very obvious part of the body. It was a really vibrant red for me so I kinda guessed it.) ​and unbelievable events ​(furniture changes which seemed almost magical to me despite the explanation later on. I think it would appeal more if there were different locked rooms rather than this ninja style redecorating.)

Overall Advice:

This is a great story you have here. My advice would be just to consider the suggestions I made and edit the typos. Well done!

This is just my opinion. A single person's point of view. Please know that the things I pointed out are not flat out negativity but rooms for improvement. Also, please feel free to ask questions if you have any. Thank you for trusting me!

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