SECRET ADMIRER

vii.

It's been a month since Harry found out that his secret admirer was a guy, but that didn't stop his secret admirer from sending letters to him.

Dear Harry,

I fucked up, very badly, I know.

I miss you.

Sending these letters were the only way I could talk to you without feeling scared. It made me feel less nervous, much different from how I react around you in person.

I wish I didn't tell you I was a guy. I wish I didn't give you all of those clues.

But I don't wish that I didn't send you that first letter. When we started writing to each other, I felt happy, I started to feel loved, but of course that was a bit far fetched, no one would ever love me.

I wish it didn't have to be like this.

Love,
Your Secret Admirer.

The thing is, Harry truly didn't know what to think. It didn't gross him out that his secret admirer was a guy, he had no problem with it. Harry never really assumed that his secret admirer was a girl, he didn't even think about their gender.

He was just simply confused, with his sexuality. And Malfoy definitely didn't help; the hot git.

Harry thought about asking Seamus or Dean for advice, considering they were the only gay people he knew.

His secret admirer stated that it was completely obvious who they were, but Harry still had no idea.

______

"Hermione," Harry whispered, "Can we talk? It's kind of important."

Currently, they were in the Gryffindor common room, just the two of them. Everyone else was asleep.

Hermione stopped reading her book and looked up at Harry, "Are you okay?"

"My secret admirer is a guy." Harry blurted out.

"I know."

"And- wait what?"

"I said, I know."

Harry blinked, "How?"

"You are so oblivious Harry." She laughed.

"I get told that alot.."

"So what's the problem?"

Harry gulped nervously. He knew he could trust Hermione, and he had no problem with telling her, it was just finding the confidence to say it out loud.

"Harry?"

She's not going to judge you, Harry.

But what if she does judge me?

"Are you okay? You're shaking, Harry."

There is nothing wrong with you liking guys, and it's not your fault if she thinks other wise. You know she will accept you, she always does, so what are you so nervous about?

But what if she doesn't accept me?

"Don't cry, just talk to me."

She's your best friend! She supports you no matter what! You know that!

But what if she doesn't support me? What if she thinks of me differently? What if she thinks i'm disgusting? Weird?