Chapter 19.

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**Trigger Warning**

"But you think that I can't see
What kind of man that you are
If you're a man at all
Well, I will figure this one out on my own.

How did we get here?
When I used to know you so well"


The night so far with Andy has consisted of the usual of me listening to him talk about work, telling me about the next big idea he has to crawl up his father's own ass.

I remember when I use to sit there with appreciative smiles, nodding obediently to everything he said, feigning interest because I thought it was important to him.

Nights like tonight make me realise more that all we ever spoke about was him, there was never a mention of how my day was, how I was doing or how I felt.

We never spoke about my job, only ever spoke about what would be expected of me when I would work for his father and how grateful I should be for the opportunity.

We never once spoke about what I wanted, for myself, and I'm realising Andy never cared to ask.

I almost feel like I've had the curtain pulled back from my eyes, and I'm seeing things for the first time now that I feel like I'm sitting on the outside of it looking in.

I think back to what Sophie said about him being just like my mother, and watching him now, as he sits there talking about himself like I should be hanging off every word just because he's saying it, and has yet to even ask me how I am makes me realise that she was right.

I think back to all the snide comments or insults he'd hide under concern or backhanded compliments, and I'm so easy to guilt I would just assume I was the problem.

Christ, I really was literally dating my mother with a dick.

The closest things he's said to me, that had anything to do with me tonight was that I should put some more clothes on, covering the snideness by saying I could get cold.

I'm wearing sleeping shorts and a crop top, I'm inside my house, it's my body, who the fuck cares what I'm wearing?

Abby six months ago would have choked at that statement, even though I was more confident wearing things that weren't just fit for a nunnery, I was never willing to stand my ground about it if Andy or my mother had an opinion on it.

He also made a comment that I'd ordered pizza and not cooked for him, like he always use to expect.

Well I'm sorry Andy, we can't all have silver spoons in our mouths and a maid to cook for us, so at this point, eat your pepperoni and shut the hell up or choke on it.

I'm starting to see why Jacob was so irritated by him, not to mention Sophie.

It's like Andy has kept up this facade the the whole time I've known him, and I'm only just realising it now that I'm not clouded with the guilt of thinking I need to do the best for him, or make sure I'm doing what makes him happy.

I'm noticing all of these things I would just look past before, that I would excuse for him, and now all they do is get under my skin.

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