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my fists where a bit swollen after punching the wall a couple times. I just got so angry about everything. she didn't belong with Michael, she belongs with me, this is her home , our home in fact. why was I so stupid to let her go! I miss her. god I miss her. we kissed and it was amazing. I really didn't know how she felt I mean she kissed me back so does she still have feelings for me? its getting harder just to stay her friend. watching her with Michael kills me so I did something I never imagined myself doing. I went downstairs to the kitchen and pulled out the 2 crates of beer that were in the cupboard and began drinking it.  I had no idea why I was doing this but it felt good to just forget and lose myself a little.

"no your the cutest" I herd from Michael as him and carter stepped through the front door.

"oh hay Luke" Michael waved as he took a seat on the couch. I just waved him off.

"have you been drinking?" carter asked me smelling my clothes.

"whats its to you" I shouted in her face.  I didn't want to deal with them right now.  only a matter of hours ago me and carter were kissing and getting along and now here is me drunk out my brain yelling at the girl I love.

"luke I think you should drink some water try sober up a bit" she kept telling me what to do and I had had enough.

"no your not my mom you cant tell me what to do. if I want to get drunk and forget about things for one night I will. don't you ever think of how sick I get listening to you two rattle on about how great your life's are together." I shouted at both of them before leaving and going to the only place I could think of. jessica's.

i had finally made it to jess's and i was more than a little out of it. i stumbled up the steps to her apartment and knocked the door a few time. i turned around and slid y back down the door waiting for her to answer. after about 5 minutes of me knocking she finally opend the door and i fell onto my back.

"luke?" she questioned before helping me sit up.

"jess i love you i don't know why i left i want you right here right now!" i sloppily tried to kiss her but i missed and got her cheek.  i stood up and wrapped my arms arund her pulling her close and kissing her.

"why the change of heart lukey?" she asked while i kissed down her neck.

" i just realized how much you mean to me. i love you." i continued to kiss her neck as we walked to her room. i stumbled alot before we collapsed on to her bed and she hovered over me. i honesty couldn't believe what i was doing. 

" i love you luke" she breathed out as i hit her sweet spot. it disgusted me that i even knew were it was but at this moment i needed something and she was it.

" i love you so much carter" at that moment she stopped and looked at me in confusion. i didn't realize what i said until her hand met my face with a force.  i groaned ans sat up, the hit almost sobered me up a little.

" i im sorry" my words were still pretty slurred as i picked up my shirt and placed it back on my body. i grabbed my shoes and headed out. 

i don't know how long i had been walking for but it seemed like ages. i couldn't figure out where i was everything was a blur. at that moment all i could thing about was carter. she was everything wrong in my life but she was also everything right in my life. i needed her, whether she needed me or not. i started to cross the a street when i saw some lights and then darkness.


who knew what was up with luke.  he had never yelled at me like that and if I'm honest it kind of scared me. I'm still confused about the whole kissing thing I mean if I'm honest im the one to kissed him back first he just followed but it felt right. in that moment I forgot about Michael, I forgot about everything that ever happened between me and luke, it was just like the first time we kissed.

I dont plan on telling michael and I hope luke doesn't either. 

It had been a long day and me and michael decided that we would head up to my room and watch some movies to try shake the thought of what just happened with luke.

" you know he was just drunk he probably didn't mean anything he said." michael pulled me into him and we tangled our legs together.

"I no im not going to take it to seriously.  iv never seen him like that tho. it kind of scared me" I looked up to Michael who was tracing circles on my hand.

"I love you okay I wouldn't let anything happen to you" I froze when he said love. he had only said it to me a couple times before, and every time I couldn't bring myself to say it back. it was even harder this time so I buried my head into his chest and closed my eyes pretending that I had fallen asleep, and soon enough I actually did.


I was woken up by my phone ringing.  I rolled over and checked the time before answering.  it was 3 in the morning and I was wondering who the hell was calling me. Ashton.  I groaned as I answered

"hello" my voice was quite and groggy.

"hi carter you need to get to hospital now and bring Michael. lukes been in a accident. " he spoke quickly and sounded like he hadn't slept one bit.

"oh okay I will be there as soon as I can. text me the hospital." and with that I hung up and chucked the covers off of myself waking michael up in the process. I was in shock my mind was thinking up all the worst possible scenarios that could happen and I was also blaming myself for letting him leave the house that drunk.

"why are you up its to early" michael ground trying to sheild his eyes from the light that I just switched on.

"lukes been in an accident we need to get to hospital now!" I felt like I was going to brake down in tears. I was totaly blaming myself for all this.

we got in the car and made our way to hospital where we were shown to lukes room. when we reached his room we saw ash and cal sitting outside looking worried. as soon as they saw me they both stood up and surrounded me in a tight hug which made me begin to cry. I didn't care about what he had said to me all I cared about was him being okay.

"how is he" I finally got up with courage to ask as we pulled out the hug.

"he's asleep. apparently he was really drunk and tried to walk home from wherever he was and was hit by a car. he isn't to injured just a few bruises and broken arm. he was really lucky" cal filled me and michael in on everything and we all went into his room waiting until he woke up. I couldn't stand him like this attached to all these machines. it was like the only thing that matterd in that moment was for luke to wake up and to be able to hug him tight and never let him go.

a/n im not sure how I feel about this chapter but I promise this story is going to get so much better. hope you guys are liking it. also thank you if you are reading any of my other stories! vote and comment

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